Ive been seeing a new partner for about 2 months now and we are both into kink, but I'm realizing that they're into a lot more and harder kinks than I generally am.

I have very minimal experience, both sexually and kink-related. This is only the second relationship where I've been able to actually participate in kink. There's so much I don't know, and so much I don't know that I don't know. It's overwhelming.

I love my partner dearly. They are so amazing, sweet, supportive, and patient.

They are also leaps and bounds more experienced and competent than I am, in all aspects of life, not just kink. I feel so inadequate compared to them, and I try so hard to not make comparisons but it's difficult.

They've recently disclosed to me that they are into intense sadism. It's not a sexual kink for them (another thing I'm learning about. I thought all kinks were sexual for everyone) but they enjoy beating consenting people as hard as they can.

I feel weirdly jealous. I want to try those things, but it seems like they feel I'm too soft and inexperienced. It's true, and I understand that I can't just jump right into the deep end. It's frustrating feeling this delicate.

I've never been spanked, beaten, or any of the other impact play that they like and I'm intrigued by. I want to try it. I have no idea if I'll like it or not, but I won't know until I try.

I don't know, I've just been having a lot of complicated feelings and emotions about this the past few days. I talk to them about this often, and we're going to work on exploring my pain tolerance, but the whole situation is just so frustrating.

Update 2 months later: we broke up, he was actually treating me awfully and violated our earlier consent discussions and tried to blame it on me 🙃 I'm glad it was a short relationship, I learned a lot of lessons (good and bad) from them and I'm not letting this interrupt my own personal kink journey 😊 thank you to the advice given 💜