Hi All, I hope this is the right place to post this type of question, and if it’s not, I apologise. I’m F36 and married to a guy and have recently started reading dark romance books (I know, these probably have a VERY fantasy/skewed view of the lifestyle!) and there are things that I want to understand further, specifically around people who are in a romantic relationship and sub/dom with each other? I know there are some dynamics where the sub may do all the housework etc and the dom rewards with certain things, but I’m wondering about those where you both share the load of housework and parenting responsibilities.

What is the point of collaring if you’re in a relationship with the person? …and follow up, if you’re married to the person, do you have a wedding ring as well?

If your dynamic is not just in a sexual scenario, how do you know when the person is being a dom/sub or just being themselves?

If your dynamic is just of a sexual nature, how is your dynamic any different a non dom/sub relationship when it comes to physical intimacy?

My husband and I have started talking about doing some things that I guess would be considered “kinks” in the bedroom, but we don’t have anything defined, I’ve just told him some things I’d like to try and he’s taken my requests on board. Sometimes we cuddle afterwards and then shower (I am a gusher, so cleaning up right away is necessary!)

Sorry if these are silly little nubi vanilla questions, I’m just so curious about the lifestyle and there are definitely elements of being a sub that I crave and wondering if there’s more that I or my husband could/should be doing . Thnx ✌🏻