Short time lurker, first time poster.

I am late 30s and feel I am submissive. My partner is late 40s and is not dominate inclined but has tried to incorporate kinks I earned to try into the bedroom with no shame attached.

I think I am submissive in a non sexual nature as well and that's less acceptable to him in my mind. ( This is something I need to find the courage to talk to him about and stop the personal shame that I know I shouldn't have.) I also think I need to read more to understand my psych and accept the reasons I think I may be submissive. I am looking into the new topping and bottoming book as I have seen suggested on here.

My question I guess, is for anyone in similar sort of situation. We are compatible enough and love each other enough that i will not be leaving my partner. But have you ever added a third IRL/ online to dominate one of you? Is there any pitfalls etc that I should watch out for other than communicate communicate communicate? Just curious if it can work long term. And I guess I should potentially look into other forums on consensual non monogamy (currently looking at hot wifing).

My other thought with the books is maybe my partner and I can find Dom stuff he would like to try or sub stuff he would like me to try. Not sure if these would be the same recommendation. If not recommend something else as well.

Thank in advance for any stories or support, And have a blessed 2024 to all you kinky folk.

EDIT: I don't think I mentioned rhis in the end... My partners fantasy/kink is hot wifing. So adding a third at times. From reading I know this looks different for everyone. Not knowing a great deal about D/s currently assume that this dynamic probably would require more intimacy regularity than my partner may be comfortable with. I guess this post is trying to wrap my head around is it possible to work and exploring what I might need to know that isn't obvious.