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Title. I just have a few anxieties. I’m kind of afraid of being treated as a fetish, for one. I admit that I have some fantasies and kinks that stem a bit from my own gender stuff (that’s not a topic we need to go into depth on) but generally I just want to be treated like another person.
When it comes to the kinky stuff that does relate to my gender I feel like I’d need a lot of understanding, and I’m kind of concerned that people engaging with feminization-adjacent kinks like the ones I have might just think of me as a man who wants to be called feminine things as a part of a fetish, rather than just a girl with weird, kinky feelings.
I’m also kind of afraid that people are going to be a bit annoying to me- I can’t force everyone to like me, but I fear running into people that outright hate me, especially in spaces where I’m supposed to feel like I can be open and a bit vulnerable.
I guess maybe I’m just looking for advice on how to spot people like that. Or maybe just some examples of how this doesn’t happen would be nice too.
I can't speak on the gender experience, I am a cis woman. However I can contribute a bit as a member of a highly fetishized population as I am plus size.
The key trigger for me when dating or making connections is if someone I'm speaking to comments on my fatness in the beginning of our chat. For example, if I ask "what are you in to?" I am looking for ways in which we will match up kink-wise. Someone saying "I love BBW's" is the WRONG answer and a clue to me that they see me as someone to be fetishized/objectified. Of COURSE you like BBWs if you're talking to me duh LOL!
On the flip side, a green flag would be someone making a connection with me as a person and not focusing on my size as the primary attractor. "I love your curves AND wow we have the same taste in music." It's acknowledged as a part of who I am but not the MAIN thing. I'm a whole person and it's nice to be seen that way.
Primarily though, I don't get a real feel for it until I am meeting in person. There is a noticeable difference between being viewed as a piece of meat / an object to be devoured vs "I think you're hot and I like you as a person." I hope this perspective can help give you some insight! Ultimately just trust your gut!
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