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Edit post-munch: Alright, I ended up going and all in all I'm very glad I did. Funnily enough, I got a message from another newbie while I was on the train there, offering to meet me outside the restaurant and go in together, which we did.
We were early, but there were already some people (some of the regulars) there, so we sat with them until more and more started arriving and we had to move to a different spot since there wasn't enough room at the table. I was honestly surprised at how many showed up, considering how few of them RSVP'd on Fetlife. Soon, we were kinda spread out across two rooms and some smaller groups had started forming.
I think in the end there were about 20-25 people, didn't really count and didn't manage to talk to each of them. Most were around my age (late twenties), but some of the regulars were older and they all seemed very kind, respectful and knowledgeable. I was honestly surprised how sweet everyone was, since the scene can look a bit intimidating to an outsider looking in.
I spent most of the evening in a cozy lounge area, primarily talking to the same 3-4 people, but everyone I interacted with was lovely. For the first hour or so I was very anxious and quiet, mostly listening to the others, but eventually came out of my shell a bit more within the group. The thing that put a damper on my mood was when the waiter/owner of the restaurant (who was wonderful) misgendered me in front of the whole group, which made my anxiety skyrocket, but I eventually recovered from that. I also had some fun one-on-one conversations. Some people sent me friend requests/followed me on Fetlife and some asked if I would be attending another event on Monday, which I'm strongly considering now.
Headed home after after about three and a half hours because I got a headache and started missing my cat. The person I spent the most time talking to accompanied me to the metro station and we talked about meeting up again soon. We hugged and went our separate ways.
So yeah, that was my first munch. It was a crazy busy day since I was also working, and I didn't have a chance to reply to the comments I got, but they genuinely helped a lot and I don't know if I would have gone without the encouragement. Thank you so very much to all of you. I hope this post (or the comment section rather) can be helpful to someone who finds themselves in a similar situation.
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Original post:
Hello, newbie here. Well, fairly new anway. I'm sorry if this isn't the right place, but I'm not sure where else to ask this...
I guess the title pretty much sums up my problem, but I'll elaborate: I have anxiety, relatively well managed in my day-to-day life, but unfamiliar situations, places and people are still extremely difficult. Yet for some reason I've decided that it's time to leave my comfort zone, immerse myself in the community and start exploring my kinky side.
I signed up to Fetlife and began looking into events in my area. I live in a small town in a small country, so I didn't have particularly high hopes. Still, I found a munch that's happening tomorrow at some restaurant in the nearest major city. The group organizing it seemed welcoming and inclusive, so despite my nerves I was determined to attend.
Please don't get me wrong, I wasn't expecting anybody to hold my hand all evening, but I'd hoped someone might be willing to meet me outside, chitchat for a minute and then walk in together. Maybe even introduce me to some people, I dunno. I left a short comment explaining my situation and asking for a volunteer to meet me beforehand and offer some moral support.
In hindsight, it might have been a weird/inappropriate request. Nobody responded to my comment, which is totally fair, but it has left me pretty demoralized. It's silly, but I suddenly feel very conflicted about going and I'm kind of dreading tomorrow.
I guess what I'm looking for is the encouragement I so desperately need, but also some advice. If I were to go, how should I approach this? I mean, quite literally, how do I approach people, how do I introduce myself, who do I introduce myself to... etc. How do I even find the right group in the first place, having never met any of them before? What should I expect as a newcomer? And, most importantly, how do I get past the feeling of not being wanted there and avoid backing out at the last minute?
Any and all advice is highly appreciated. Thank you for reading my weirdly long vent post, and have a lovely day/night!
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