I 26F met a guy on pure 34M. we really hit it off and I got with him that same night. we talked and sexted for a bit after. since I wasn't getting much time with him I asked if it was cool to sleep with other people but he assumed I was asking permission. I was being respectful and wondered what his boundaries were. he didn't want me to get with guys without protection which I completely understand. but then it becomes more and more restrictive like him wanting a video or to inspect me post coitus to see if I'd kept to me word. also each time I wanted to sleep with someone id require his permission. he said he wanted me to be devoted to him completely and do as I'm told. obedience was very important. I feel like we got into a disagreement because I felt like these rules were suddenly imposed when I hadn't agreed to a more controlling dynamic and I didn't like the idea of punishments that would happen if I misbehaved. like rough sex, swallowing or taking videos which are not my thing. I'm not sure if he took me as a naïve youngster because I really don't have much experience. single digit body count and not actually had that much sex. also apparently whenever he wanted me I had to drop everything and come see him.

he's the second person I got with after a 3y5m hiatus with several months of sexual lockdown before COVID when I lost the v card at 22.

I think I'm more of a brat/switch but this never came up he just assumed it was what I wanted. it feel like a real shame because as I quite liked him and he's one of two sexual partners that I would see again out of the others I've been with.

I fundamentally don't think it could work because I don't appreciate the pivot from "normal" to kinky suddenly without my consent only to revoke access claiming it's imperative to get off when that wasn't the case the first time round. I'm not very familiar with BDSM but I thought it revolved around trust consent & boundaries with communication?

did I make the right decision by setting clear boundaries? obviously I'm not happy that I can't get with him anymore but I'm so perplexed by the 180. perhaps I'm still getting to grips with getting intimate with people.