Background: My submissive and I have been in an strange situation recently. She said something that triggered me to think that maybe she's got a dominant side. I asked her if she was dominant or told her it doesn’t sound like you are submissive. She took offense to this, understandably. If I question or attack someone's sense of being or identity, what can I expect right? Well it also wasn't the first time I said something to her about this because she says things that indicate she's somewhat dominant. She said it's just poking fun at me, but I could see her being dominant. She is very dominant in real life with other people, but she chooses to submit to me.

Additionally, she is even more pissed off because she knows that in the past, not this time, but I've told her that her submission is different that what I would have expected or imagined based on other relationships ive had in the past. She's bratty and that’s not something I've experienced before. Maybe that's a reason for her not seeming submissive?

My submissive asked me the other day, what does submission mean to me because she now thinks that we may not be a good match. I didn't think submission came in so many different flavors, it seemed somewhat binary in the sense of you either choose to submit to someone, or you don’t? Sure there are differences, such as some submissives are service oriented vs not, but submission is submission, no?

SO, all that said, what does submission mean / look like to you?