Where to begin. ...

I am not new to bdsm but my interest in it was never fully "lifestyle" I enjoy keeping it to the bedroom and in late years I rarely even am interested.

But I find myself back in my leather again, I'm Dom that can switch sometimes but only mildly get submissive.

I have a fwb we met on Feeld and we're both interested in bdsm. He told me he switches but I made it clear I won't be sub at all. He said ok.

Idk what he's history is, he has told me he's been pegged before. Idk that he's ever had a dom. He is pretty quiet , sort of don't ask don't tell .

Well now I have grown quite uncomfortable with our lack of dynamic and need advice.

In no specific order here is a list of things that made me uncomfortable

He was reluctant to establish a safe word after I pressed him we finally did He seems to expect me to bend my list of hard nos but won't do so for me, for example he wants to be able to finish inside me though I have said no many times but he will manipulate it by using my kink to get me worked up and I change my mind. That's ok I am fully responsible but he won't bend on things I enjoy like punishment, he won't fellate the strap on, he won't consider any pain play whatsoever even with the lightest toy. No worries I was willing to curb my sadism but idk why I am pushed and pushed into things I said no to, it's not just the one example.

He at first agreed there would be cuddle and love theater , for example I enjoy pretending to make love and tons of affection leaning towards romance after our scenes. But he only did that the first two times despite claiming that he loved that too. But I feel I hold up my end of what I said I could offer

Manipulating me with my kink. We both agreed to mommy/baby play and he knows I have a strong reaction to being called for but he uses that to manipulate me into letting him do things I said no to (the creampie) and also he will blow up my phone if I don't come over immediately he'll say things in the baby form and even cry or whine over and over until I go to him. And that's my own fault for not controlling myself. It's the first time I ever found someone to do this with me and now I've lost control. I have driven to his place when it was incredibly inconvenient for me and he is faaaar. I feel he doesn't care or have consideration tho he gave me gas money.

During pegging he's very bossy , but won't follow instructions I give him even tho I will adjust to please him and meet his needs. But he won't say what I ask him to or thank me or worship me when I perform. It's incredibly strenuous the work I put in. I can't help but feel that he treats me like I'm a pro that he's paid for and I have to perform to his standards but nothing is required of him.

Last night I was livid after he didn't thank me or call me a good "mommy" again and he won't let me punish him in any way either. I left furious at myself more than anything.

The past two times he hasn't come to open my car door just asks me to let myself in. He won't offer me food or drink as if I'm not a guest and a goddess ...

He won't do a breastfeeding kink

I have lost all control of this dynamic and I feel that pegging him is not enough pleasure for me. Currently I am punishing him by not answering him and being cold which would not be my choice of punishment anyway.

What can be done? Or is this just incompatibility ? I really adored the dynamic we started with the mommy baby play and the love theater we do during vanilla time . Is it gone for good?

My preference would be to save this as I invest a lot of energy and effort into my bdsm partnerships and I don't like to have more than one partner in a year.

Bless you if you read this

TLDR: new partner treats me like I'm his paid Dom and has neglected many of my own desires that he previously agreed to. Won't follow specific instructions but expects me to