I’m talking to someone about rope stuff- they are new to me, but are friends with a lot of people I know/trust and got good friend reviews when I asked people what they thought of this person.

I’ve heard the prevailing wisdom is that the first time you do a scene with a new person you’re not to be restrained.

The issue with this is, I am not into the beauty of rope, I just want to be restrained. I don’t think it would be satisfying if someone just did ‘rope designs’ on me.

This person is from out of town, so I’m also thinking I’ll probably only have one chance during this trip to play together. I am thinking of risking it and trying restraint even though people say you’re not supposed to.

I would love to hear from someone whose mind isn’t turning into mush from the possibility of this happening if this is a truly dumb idea or not. Or if there’s a ‘safer’ way of trying it that at least lowers my risk. I am afraid I want to do this so badly I will get into trouble.

Thanks for your insight!

Update: I followed the advice I got here and held back. We had like an 8 hour date that went great and we end up back at mine and they restrained me with just their hands and body weight and it was great! I felt good about them so we ended up playing with rope the second time we hung out, and they took me while I was tied up. I felt really unstressed because I waited to get to know them- in the end I was glad I took time to get there so in the moment I was relaxed. I was just really grateful I didn’t do it until I saw them stop when I said no to things and was physically comfortable