I'm extremely new to ENM & so isn't my partner but we want to make it work. My partner is my dom & I'm a bratty sub. I've made a really good friend who is also a bratty sub. We initially were all flirting together over group chat and possibly planning a threesome after me & friend got a chance to have time together first, but eventually it evolved to them also possibly having time just them.

I do support this, I told them both that I do & I especially encouraged my dom because I know that he has some self esteem issues & I also just know they would genuinely be a good fit.

Then last night I feel like I messed it up. I was feeling a bit jealous because it seemed like friend was maybe getting more attention from dom, it absolutely was not intentional & cognitively I knew this. I also was feeling a bit of jealousy because my dom was using some of our negotiated pieces of our contract with friend (with consent from friend of course). I spoke with my therapist & she felt that I was feeling this way because our dynamic is intimate & watching "my" intimate things being used on another was hard.

My intention was just to let them both know how I was feeling & to see if we could figure out ways to help me feel less insecure/jealous such as them negotiating their own stuff & not using the stuff that felt special to our dynamic.

Instead they both immediately shut everything down because they don't want to do anything if I'm not 100% & enthusiastically on board. They felt that they hurt me & should have been looking out more for that. I tried explaining that I wasn't hurt, just wanted to have a conversation to see if we could work out a solution to my budding jealousy instead of me just sitting with my feelings until it got to be too much.

I feel like I've wrecked our little group. We were having fun flirting and bratting together & I just had to mention feeling a little left out at times & being slightly jealous so now it's done even though I keep telling them that's not what I want. Any advice would be nice.