TW: sexual acts without consent, giving orders without consent, making people watch degrading acts without consent

I was sexually assaulted last weekend at a sex party, and I've made a police report. It wasn't an event for bdsm, but the man who assaulted me treated me like a sub without my consent. I was alone when he came up and just grabbed me, he hugged me first and then embraced me without letting go. Then he asked if I like BDSM, how old I was and if I like to obey. I said that I like BDSM a little, I said that I don't know or maybe I liked to obey. None of that was me giving HIM consent. He was maybe 20-30 years older (I'm 35f) and I would never want to do those things with someone like him or be approached like that. I was told to do acts and I did as he said out of fear and every time I stopped doing it he would be more assertive and tell me that I needed to learn to obey. For example I was told to look into his eyes and open my mouth and stick my tounge out while he put two fingers in my mouth, and if I looked away (because I was uncomfortable) he would grab my face while telling me to do it again.

I won't tell you all details, but you can probably guess how most of this played out, and I have made another post on another subreddit that you can read if you want more details.

What I wonder now is if anyone have advice for how I can practice BDSM in a safe way again? I know that I'm probably rushing things, because this just happened and I need to process it. I've only practiced BDSM for 1-2 years and I've had a dom that I've seen once in a while since last summer, and we have currently taken a break because he can't be available for me right now. But I think he's going to want to see me again in a few weeks. I have told him what happened and we have talked earlier about meeting up to negotiate when we start seeing each other again, so I hope I will have a chance to talk about all my needs then. What I specifically worry about is that some of the acts that man did to me are very similar to what my dom usually does. For example licking my ear, telling me to take his cock in my throats while he holds my head in place and he has occasionally put his fingers in my mouth. I have been comfortable with all those things with my dom because I'm comfortable with him as a person and I enjoy having some of my limits pushed by him. So I would like to maybe get some advice about going forward after this? It's not just about BDSM, I also have a boyfriend who's my primary partner and I haven't felt comfortable with sex and even kissing. The man made me look in his eyes and make out with me with his tounge forcefully in my mouth. So I guess getting used to doing that with my boyfriend could be a good start maybe.

I also have another thing bothering me that I would like others thoughts about. At the beginning of this party the man who assaulted me and the man who owned the house told everyone to join them in the living room for a show, so everyone gathered in the living room. Both of these men are probably over 60, not that attractive and they dragged in a woman my age to the middle of the room. Her hands were cuffed over her head and they undressed her. They started to degrade her, for example asking her to open her mouth as they put their fingers inside (which then happened to me 30 min later). They also held her face and told her to look around in the room and rell everyone that she was a cock slut. Then she was uncuffed and on her knees and told to suck their cocks. I didn't like watching that. Am I wrong for thinking that this was inappropriate at a sexparty that wasn't specifically about BDSM? I asked later if the woman was OK doing that and I was told that she likes stuff like rape play. I really don't want to kink-shame, people are allowed to like watching stuff like that but I just feel like they shouldn't have asked everyone to watch that. They could've said something about what they were about to do or tell people that those who wanted could join and watch, so that it would be more consensual for us watching. I'm thinking that they can't just assume that everyone there would like watching that. And personally I was freaked out as a woman attending my first sex party alone, and it set a very werid tone that I didn't enjoy. I think that contributed to me feeling scared when I was grabbed by one of those men. I think other people had expressed that they didn't enjoy it either. So am I right for thinking that it was very inappropriate?