I (33f) am in a long term relationship with my partner (37m) for about 8 years. Prior to him I had a fwb with D/s play. I’m on the s side of the slash.

With the fwb aftercare was pretty basic and proportionate, and it worked.

With my now partner aftercare required by either of us is basic and proportionate (cuddles, snacks, something comfy on telly and warm duvet, we poke some bruises and he makes me laugh and generally feel safe).

However, I don’t always need aftercare, either all of it or bits of it, so quite often we will just have a laugh and a chat then follow the usual day (I.e. go to sleep or go about our day). This works for us. But then every now and then I drop hard and fast, it’s like I blink and realise I’m way way down.

So, my question - does anyone have any easy signals that say, without needing words “I’m dropping, help!” Because in those moments it’s hard to verbalise it and my gut reaction is to just suffer quietly and I’ll get over it (yes I have issues, working on them).

Sooo…help a sometimes needy sub?