Was on TikTok and saw a young woman creator who does sfw d/s content. She made one of those mismatched voice over videos with subtitles that basically said her polyamorous dom’s new subs would have to go through her, an alpha sub, to be involved with him. The overall video was a bit cringey and seemed catty/mean spirited. But alas, there were people hyping her in the comments & one person dissenting who I silently agreed with (I didn’t bother commenting).

I am but a wee babe in the bdsm world and although I’ve been practicing ENM for a decade, I’ve only recently started learning more about the modern tenants of polyamory. Essentially, everything I’ve read over the last year or so in this group and in my poly research say this kind of attitude and treatment towards a meta/other sub is toxic and/or unhealthy.

But before I form my own solid opinion, I’d like to see if maybe there’s just something Im unaware of or need to learn about this whole “alpha sub” business.

What say all of you? Any insight?

Edit: Thanks everyone who offered insight! Love learning from y’all :)

Edit: I went back to go look for the video to see her other stuff (her consent /hard limits which were fine). But I misstated the one at issue which said “when your dom is poly & a girl wants to play with you and your dom….gotta go through me for him babes” (not so bad in full bdsm/poly context if that’s the agreed upon style etc etc)….but some of her other videos are questionable implying that they’re monogamous and she doesn’t allow other subs near her dom. And the whole “alpha this and that” are still entrenched in the captions and comments. All in all, upon further review, I think this gal’s may just be a social media kinkster who makes random stuff for engagement, but at least has the right stuff going about consent lol