After almost exactly 12 turbulent months since an emotional affair that I discovered, my wife asked me this weekend if she can resume friendship with the co-worker AP. We didn't go full no contact after discovery because of complicated work reasons for her, but the friendship with AP essentially ended.

She says our marriage is solid again and she has new perspective on acceptable boundaries. But she misses his friendship and work camaraderie.

I of course said "No f'ing way, how could you even think of asking that?" Also, she did it almost exactly on the year anniversary of D Day, which I was tracking but she apparently was not. And she accused me of being controlling, because she just wants to be friends, nothing more.

I have been a living flamethrower since then, really laying into her non stop and sending her a bunch of articles that say what a insanely stupid idea it is to try and be friends with an AP. My behavior is now giving her as many reasons to leave me as she has given me.

I'm now at a crossroads. I feel like reconciliation has been a waste of time. I have done a lot of work to address the needs she said I had been ignoring in the marriage. And that was not enough, apparently.

We have teenage kids that will suffer by divorce. And it will destroy our finances. I will not do well at all psychologically in the aftermath.

But I can no longer trust her. I feel like there's no stopping her need for this man. I don't want to be in the same room with her right now. And I'm already ruined mentally, so what can be worse than this?