I want to reconcile. I really do. I thought we were doing that. But I caught him hiding things from me again. About 5 days ago, he said he was taking a shower, while really we was just letting the water run and DMing somebody on discord. The content of the messages wasn’t technically inappropriate, but he specifically avoids me seeing him DM them, and the content is close to crossing lines. My problem with this is that he is hiding it for a reason and he is not shutting it down before it becomes obviously inappropriate. He is pushing boundaries and creating space for things to go beyond them. We had an argument about it and he deleted the app because he thought I was going to divorce him. I don’t know if he’s used it since, maybe he has and is hiding it. But I do know he has already made an account on a different social media site since then, and has made an effort to hide it from me. I haven’t told him I know.

I can’t continue on this way. All I have asked of him this entire time is to just be honest with me, just stop doing things you wouldn’t do in front of me. But it never ends. His behavior is so humiliating. He continues to throw any trust I try to give him back in my face by continuing to hide things and lie to me. I don’t know what to do, I’m at my wits end. I cant make him behave, and I shouldn’t have to. I want to reconcile but the only way I can see doing so is just accepting I’ll be treated like a fool for the rest of my life and try to ignore his behavior because knowing about it is killing me.