DDay was a month ago. He confronted me in a MC session. He said immediately that he was committed to the marriage and it was "up to me". After that we had a few hard conversations in the first week. I initiated all of them. Since then he has said nothing about the affair or asked any questions about it. He hasn't shown much emotion about it at all. At one point I asked him why he wasn't angry. He said he'd suspected that I was having an affair for a while so it was actually kind of a relief to get it out in the open. Our lack of emotional connection was the reason we were in MC to begin with. Our MC at the time suggested that I write an official disclosure and my husband agreed that he would like one. (We have switched to another MC since then and it hasn't been brought up again.) I asked him yesterday if he still wanted a disclosure and he said yes. He also said that he had a list of questions that he found online that were suggested a BS ask after an affair is discovered. It's like he can only do the things he's "supposed to do" in this scenario. We have had some stressful things happen in the last month - a scheduled renovation and then some flooding in the basement on top of that so our home is in total chaos right now. He said that's been completely occupying mind right now.

He is a good person and excellent father. He has been patient with me during my recurring episodes of major depression (patient but not actively supportive). In the last year he has been trying to learn more about my struggles with bipolar II and his own recent ADHD diagnosis, which has been really good for his personal growth. We have had some positive steps forward in our marriage in the last year. But he seems to go about this motivated largely by a sense of duty. His lack of emotion about me betraying him actually hurts me.

I know this is backwards. I'm the one who wronged him. Not the other way.

So, I guess my question is: do I bring up the hard conversations we need to have (and I frankly want to have)? Or should I give him space now and let him bring it up when he's ready?