Is trying to reconcile even worth it?

I caught my partner arranging to hook up with another girl about two months ago. From the messages, it seems like it didn’t go through, but only because she didn’t answer the door. He was there waiting in her driveway while I was out getting my nails done.

We had one real conversation about it, which was mostly him deflecting and pulling the pity card, telling me I was being mean when I confronted him with basic facts about what happened.

We haven’t really talked about it since then. Anything that’s been brought up has been me doing 90% of the talking and him listening. I will say since then, he has taken some steps to make me feel more comfortable/gain some of my trust back. But I feel like not talking about it is keeping me from healing and forgiving him (which I have communicated to him).

Tonight, I finally just told him that I’m having a hard time forgiving him despite his steps to make me feel more comfortable. He said he doesn’t understand why I haven’t forgiven him yet, that it’s been long enough and he’s made changes. We were both quiet for a long time and eventually he just told me he’s going out to his shop to work.

Is reconciliation even possible? I want to forgive him and be able to trust him again, but I can’t with how things are going currently. It would be so much different if he could just take accountability instead of checking out until I’m done talking because he feels criticized.