I know what I want to say but I can’t vocalise my opinions/ feelings well enough for people to understand me. People bully me by either taking advantage or insulting my intelligence. And because I have a quiet/timidly seeming demeanour it makes me an easier target. It’s annoying because, I can tell when it’s happing - I just have trouble calling it out. In my head my words get into a mess and I end up doing 1 of two things- stuttering and backing down or 2 lashing out (which doesn’t work as I end up getting blamed for it) I feel like I’m trapped in my own body when it gets like that. It gets me feel depressed, anxious and hurt. It gets worse especially during heated confrontations. This then gets me more fucked off at myself rather than the person/situation. Because of knowing what I could’ve said or done.

I have had an autism test and it was ruled out. However, the psychologist eluded that due to my abusive childhood there may be a correlation in this behaviour. But either way I’m not sure. Any pointers/tips?

And please no tips on diffusing situations. I know how to diffuse them but sometimes I just need to know how to shut people up when they are trying to act condescendingly.