i have never hated my life until these last 6 months. every random hot flash, weird feeling heartbeat/ heart pain, nightmare, fatigue episode, every fucking sensation that’s my body has put me through since my massive panic attack in january. i’m so fucking done. my life feels over. i’m fucking 22 and have no job because i got fired bc i kept going home early and calling out bc of how is was physically feeling. my heartbeat has been shaking my body for the past fucking week. damn man i just want to feel how i felt before my panic attack. my life feels over. and everyone around me sees me declining . i had gotten into the BEST SHAPE of my life before this and now ive gained almost all of the 27 pounds i lost bc all i do is sit around and eat. i’m tired of the fucking heart pain. i’m tired. none of my doctors look at me serious anymore. yes i’ve been medically cleared and basically had a full body check up. but fuck man i still hate how i feel. i’m the boy who cried wolf. to EVERYONE. this is bullshit.