I'm a 50-year-old man. I recently finished getting a film production certificate at the local community college. I have worked a couple shoots, but I need more experience. I want to be a filmmaker. My fear arises, because I don't feel as though I am wanted for collaboration with my peers, granted many are decades younger than me. I feel as though I am just a very small afterthought in any of their minds.

Now, thinking that I cannot expect anyone to find work for me, to help create film, I know I should just do it on my own. But I am frozen in apathy. Lately, I have just been lethargic, glued to my bed and tv (and of course, social media).

But finding the motivation to do anything is so fleeting. I'm not at my wits end, because I know I can just survive. Just living from day to day, moments passing and my life evaporating with each waking moment. I am stuck, and afraid I will not do anything with this desire to be creative and expressive.

I don't know what to do.