Linking them with imgur seems boring on mobile seems tedious, so just know that they're not mine.

Q. Doctor doctor, I think I'm a spoon.

A. Sit on that chair and quit staring.

Q. What did a bee say to the other bee?

A. I love plants.

Q. What do you call a fish with no tail?

A. A one eyed grape.

Q. Why do monkeys eat banana

A. Because bananas are not afraid

Q. What do you call a tiger with glasses on?

A. A scientist tiger.

Q. Guess how many snakes there are.

A. 13

Q. Why did the chicken marry the crocodile.

A. Because crocodoodledoo is a good family name.

Q. What do you call a fish with no legs?

A. A fsh

Q. How do lions run faster?

A. Metal legs.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?

A. Shut up.

Q. Why did the chicken run around screaming?

A. Because it needed to use the toilet.

Q. If you go to the ham contest, what will the man say?

A. You won last year, you are not allowed.

Q. What do you call a dog that can walk?

A. A human.

Q. Why did the Skittles go bowling?

A. Because he was a part of bowling.

Q. What's ugly but happy?

A. A frog.

There were three guys on a plane, the first bit an apple and thought it was too sweet. He threw it out the window. The second guy bit a rock.

Q. Why did Tom and Jerry get married?

A. Because Tom is a boy and Jerry is a boy and they're both as strong as a toilet.

Q. What's worse than getting a test back with a zero?

A. Getting a test back with 0, brag about it, quit school, then finding out it wasn't your test. You got a zero.

Man: how long will my pizza be?

Waiter: not very long lol

This is not a joke but my pet dog eats cat food.