Trick question: Roads don't believe in Jesus, and even if they did, irreligious Central Americans would have a great deal of difficulty nailing a road to a piece of wood, as roads are the most apprehensive of tarmac thoroughfares and would require restraining by multiple people of different nationalities and religious views in order to be kept sufficiently still.

Before it was about to get nailed, while being restrained, the road cried "Wait! I read on a joke on /r/AntiAntiJokes entitled "How many atheists does it take to cross the road?" that "Bars are best if you want to get hammered", in the second paragraph! If I must die, can I be crucified to bars, as opposed to a cross of wood?

So the rabble resolved to find two bars which the road would be crucified on. Thankfully, there were two men among the rabble, who owned two bars. The men led the rabble to the bars and the road was nailed there.

The rabble then entered the bars while the road quietly suffered, and the two bartenders gave it to them.

They were very pleased that they had taken advantage of the cheap immigrant labour to construct an improved transport link to their respective establishments.