So I'll start with my details as I know most people only care about looks: white, 6'1, around 240, definitely a chubby dad bod, classically handsome with full beard and hair, hairy body, decently thick downstairs, funny, intelligent, educated, and charismatic. If you're cool with that please continue reading.

Let's start off with saying that I love my wife very much, she truly is my best friend but we have very different personalities and life experiences. Most days I can deal and ignore the voices in my head telling me "this isn't the relationship you want," but some days I loose patience and come to Reddit looking for someone whose more my in my league.

For context, my wife is shy/awkward, has a lot of issues with depression, and is a survivor of sexual assault. I knew all this when we met and it was because of the caregiver spirit in me that I felt a connection with her and wanted to show her that life can be different. That was 18 years ago, and while she has improved a lot, it's still a bit more than I can handle sometimes. I cook for us, clean our house, I recently enrolled in grad school to better our financial situation, and have spent countless hours of emotional energy just to keep her stable at times.

I'm more of a free spirited, independent thinker type. I like meeting new people, I enjoy(ed) dating and flirting, the thrill and rush of kissing someone for the first time, or the anticipation when I am about to touch someone's body for the first time. I'm not shy, I like to have fun, and I get depressed myself thinking about all the girls I have met and been interested over the years that I could have had a more equal relationship with, but I still feel a intense devotion to my wife and can't abandon her like that.

So sometimes I do what I have to, I'm looking for someone who can either relate or sympathize with my situation and is interested in some mutual benefits. Even if it's just an online friendship where we talk and have a connection is enjoyable for me. Ideally I would love to have an actual friends with benefits situation where we are able to meet and be intimate from time to time, but patience is a virtue considering the sneaking around that needs to be done.

I crave appreciation and feedback, I want someone vocal and who is open about what she needs and wants, someone who understands sex and physical intimacy is actually essential to a good relationship. 18 and up only, if you're at all interested in chatting then don't be shy and hmu. I live in NY and commute weekly to south Jersey.