I posted here a while back and connected with some lovely people. Back again. Dating apps are hot garbage, and I'd like to give my thumb a rest from swiping. This is a kink post, sure, but I want to get to know you before any shift in dynamic takes place. I find it equally fascinating and confusing when I read posts immediately asking for servitude. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to get the first name before finding out what butt plug size they prefer1. Been keeping busy with a nonprofit career, learning piano, and my lovely cat. Completed my Masters2 program in the before times. Bouldering, lifting at the gym, podcasts, and reading are my hobbies.

https://imgur.com/a/fEIWM2p

Here's an obligatory list of things that partially define me as a person: instinctively pets any animal I pass, drinks coffee3 while filling in small crossword squares4 with even smaller letters; surrounds himself with books that have various origin stories5; eats up documentaries6 like candy; having conversations while maintaining direct eye contact7. Before I forget to mention where I'm located8, I'm in NYC, but even if you aren't in The Big Apple9, feel free to reach out10. I’m looking for an eventual face-to-face connection. If you happen to be far away, all good. As a (new) bachelor, I’m not married to my city - or a person - and am open to travel. I’m fairly strait-laced in my day-to-day life11. Nobody at the Zoom office would imagine the thoughts of leashes and collars and pulled hair12 that surface and preoccupy my mind at strange times of the day. As someone who just is naturally dominant, I can't remember a time in my adult life in which I didn't feel this way. The feeling is an intrinsic part of me. For the longest time, I thought this feeling was as common and as ubiquitous as the air we breathe. I thought to myself, doesn't *everyone* have these particularly primal thoughts? I thought it was as universal as dislike for pineapple on pizza. Turns out, not everyone has these thoughts, just us lucky few. Some things I’m good at: giving eye contact, having an uncanny ability to match people to their celebrity look-alike; being hyper-aware without feeling anxious; being confident about my decisions13 What I'm looking for: I have the desire to foster, grow and nourish a partnership. I want to hold, caress and guide a partner. I desire to find someone who has the openness (and trust) to hand over control.I want an ear to whisper into. I want someone who burns at my temperature. Relinquishing control is something that's earned, not given away for free. Ideally, I want my partner wrapped around my sure and confident hand, and that's right where she wants to be. Importantly, rather than a one size fits all approach, I like finding out how my partner ticks, then tapping into that to make her squirm wildly. I love the thought of walking through the door, coming home from work, and giving a knowing look and a half-smile that lets her know just how to greet me - with her knees hitting the floor. What I’m looking for is a bit specific and am in no rush to force a connection. I’m satisfied holding out, waiting for someone - the one. Sorry if this is too kinky to write here, but what I really want is to hold someone's hand and tell them how special they are to me. I’ve always had monogamous relationships. I’m theoretically open to the idea of changing that. This is an (overly) long post. I came to it over the course of a couple of days, adding notes here and there. Please don’t feel the need to write one equally long. I’d rather you message something rather now rather than spend two days thinking about what to say. If any of this lands with you, maybe we can both delete tinder and make our own fire. Come with me. It’ll be fun.

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1. My opening line’s not “hey slut, dog-ear that page, close the book and get on your knees”. Instead, I ask how you’re enjoying that Haruki Murakami book, and do you know they’re turning it into a Netflix series? I’d save the butt plug talk for a more appropriate time and place.
2. ( ;
3. Always with a dash of cream, no sugar, please.
4. I find the idea of semi-silently sitting next to someone - co-working on a NY Times crossword puzzle with arms crossing over each other’s to complete words running into the next - inherently romantic.
5. The local bookstore’s $1 bin, friend’s bookshelves, or from the neighborhood library
6. I’ve always loved movies and entertained the idea of enrolling in film school once upon a time.
7. Someone wiser than me once said, “eyes are the windows to the soul”. Separately, Shakespeare coined “brevity is the wit of soul”, and this is a wordy (pun intended) post, so I obviously pick and choose which poetic expressions I take to.
8. I’m fully aware of my awful short-term memory, and that’s why I always have a muji pen and a moleskin notepad on my person. Know thy limitations! On top of helping me stay organized, consistently carrying around a working pen and a small notepad allows me to write comedy bits - both good and bad - down on the page before they vanish.
9. Nobody here calls it that
10. Yes, *you*!
11. The colloquial term is “kink”, but the feelings I have are so ingrained in me that it’s just a part of *who* I am.
12. Que Wizard of Oz “oh my”
13. The best thing about being in my 30s is that I'm more sure about my wants, needs, and decisions than I ever have been before. I find it endlessly fascinating that there are eighteen-year-old self-called doms - how the hell can you direct someone when you don’t even fully know yourself? There’s no replacement for time and experience.