Hello,

There was some idea I had today....someone to nurture my fragile mind. I want you to help my brain rewire.. I want to be intelligent. I want to be at peace.

The below is my prior post:

My Circumstances: 

-I live under my father’s roof for a little while longer

-I lost a decade of life to a nearly comatose at times mental illness.

-I am in school doing math/psych double as an associates. I finish this year

-I am going to try hard to transition to independence: working in a hospital and as a tutor.

My past:

-Joan of Arc vibes(wanting to make a constructed language, cure my mental illness, found a city, psychitecture)

-intellecutally boundless and wondering curiosity but a gathering dust tsundoku.

-insanity alternating with something comatose called catatonia but all under lonely powerlessness.

Goals:

-work hard and help the world

-find someone to have kids with or live a steely dedicated life of service like a solider where the softness of love is actually dangerous to the soul(really my interests align well with raising kids)

-manage to turn my psychotic past goals into managable goals both for service to humanity and some pride in myself

Who you are:

I used to want a bro in the journey. I even for years settled for coziness and clinging to softness like my life was too dark without those smileyfaces. I’m better now since I see a financially independent future. I’m not sure who I want. Please make your case.

Love:

I want comfort. I want stability. I want passion I guess too. I want to be validated and given sensibility for my dreams.

An aside: oh my shining knight give me the courage to follow you to the light. Where I can speak and think freely. Where silence blossoms like a cabbage rose.

Eloquent and beautiful old me…she would have gotten her validation. Current me is  at the beginning of a long road.