If you are: a) below fifty; b) unattached (no ethical nonmonogamy; c) are childless and do not want children; or d) have children and do not want more, and e) will be upfront about having children--keep reading! U.S. or Canada preferred for similar timezones, but not necessarily required. Travel is up for discussion.

At face value, I'm a pretty good girl. I'm in my final year of undergraduate with a 4.0 and working two part-time jobs. I think of being on-time as being late. People wouldn't really guess that I have six tattoos because my beloved cardigans always cover them up. My biggest crimes are getting an impulsive (but adorable) septum piercing and wearing heavy eyeliner so the dads at work are nicer to me when I tell them they can't bring their toddlers into Terrifier 3.

You probably wouldn't guess that the girl who takes the best notes in class can churn out six-thousand words of smut in two days, or that her doodles beside her notes on King Henry IV of Germany were made to keep her mind from wandering to the images of hot dilfs she stumbled upon while scrolling on Reddit. What can I say, I'm a woman of many talents?

Everyone knows I'm an artist. I show photos of my simple trinket dishes and detailed digital paintings at work all the time. But there's files on my laptop that are totally blocked out, hiding even the smallest peak of what the piece could entail. I could say they were to practice composition or anatomy, but really, sometimes you just want to draw men twice your age getting down and dirty.

I want a connection that can foster both sides of me, someone who can engage in lively discussions about politics or the book he just read but will lay me on his desk and reward me for presenting him with juicy smut. I want someone that drives me to be curious and grow, but will also inspire me to fill my sketchbooks with sketches of us and all the things we could do. I want that deep, hot chemistry that makes me have to resist sneaking off with him while we're with company because he made a smart comment that made my thighs clench. I want someone I can bury in me and in my art.

My muse, if you're out there, don't keep me waiting. I'm ready to meet you.