Hello :)

I use the term hag endearingly lol. Here's my hagmaxxing post... I'm looking to get to know and be intimate with a hag (25 years old with no upper limit (like it's okay, grandmas can be hot too), but preferably late 20s or 30s maybe).

I am 5'9" (heh heh 69 inches), chubby, white, long brown fluffy hair and yes you can touch it, glasses, small beard and mustache, broad shoulders, dark blue eyes, and somewhat hairy all over.

I am giving this a shot but um, I like being taken care of, and I want to be like a needy puppy for you :3 ... as in I want to bring that energy. I actually like the mommy/little stuff just because it is surprisingly really cathartic, and I am at my "puppy-est" when regressing. No worries if all that sounds intimidating. You don't need the niche experience with that. I just bring it up because idk maybe you'd find it cute that I'm a whimpery fuck.

I want to retire early and live with all the time in the world to do whatever I want lol. My plan is to live off dividends, and I'll try to get there by doing a business or maybe something tech related even though I don't know much about either lol.

As for connection, I am needy. :( I will be happy with platonic friendship to horny partners to romantic partners, which by the way, because of my relationship with fucked up (but legal) hentai and porn and my libido and my fluctuating sexuality there will be times when my sexual interest is not directed at you. Maybe that means I'm poly or open or something idk. Inexperienced.

I am generally a quiet guy. I am selfish but kind as weird as it might seem. Although, I want the emotional connection with my romantic partner(s) to be the main thing in my life, so I would want to make sure your needs are met if we want to be cynical and transactional about so to speak. But anyways, I am a switch. However, d/s is hard for me to fully embrace because I keep hearing from others that I am a brat. I want "unconditional love" and to know that if I fuck up that my lover(s) will still love me. But I am also hella sadistic and hella masochistic. I have violent thoughts sometimes, but um... my therapist knows all about that already. Those sadistic feelings come from feeling overwhelmed especially by societal rejection and (even just playful) teasing directed at me.

I am probably the most emotionally masochistic person you will ever meet. That is, my mental pain tolerance is high. That being said I still want to be a whiney crying little bitchboi in your arms.

Related to the S&M feelings, I have autism and maybe ptsd, definitely depression and anxiety. I am generally okay with sensory stuff, but I am very touch sensitive meaning I will jump even if I know you are about to touch me. I don't always jump though.

For kinks, I have all kinds of things I want to do lol. Here's some fantasies though.

I put creepy in the title because of this one kink. I want to feel like a creepy incel stalker who like sniffs your underwear, makes weird noises, stares at you quietly, imagines you as a cute human pet with no limbs, and uh desperately rubbing against and humping you all over like you are my anime body pillow girlfriend.

I have other fantasies of like a pampering maid and her royal young prince where the d/s is layered so we are both dom and sub but in different ways. It was inspired from a hentai. Maybe like I ask you to do xyz to take care of me, but you get to choose how that gets manifested or developed. Like maybe I want help with getting my sexual needs and chastity urges met, but I only want to do short term chastity, so I ask you to do it x amount of times and you get to surprise me on when it happens. Other just general sexual things with this: prostate massage, edging, sounding with e stim so I can be hands-free milked, pegging, rimming, intercrural sex, fondling me, and um having you look over and invade my privacy with my phone are some things I might ask for.

I also just want to do boring run of the mill rp like petplay, slave stuff, crossdressing or sissification or bimbofication, (blegh) cuckholding/cuckqueaning, or dollification. There's probably more.

I also also just want to do boring boring stuff like sex, cuddling, making out, holding hands, doing eye contact for a while (because I'm autistic and it's overwhelming... we could turn that into a d/s thing), and watching shows together. I have seen very very little of anything because I want to enjoy stuff with my partner. I'd like to watch horror movies, anime, netflix subscription stuff, classics, and whatever you want really lol. I honestly just want to cling onto someone under the covers so bad.

Another thing I like a lot is cuckholding and bisexual encouragement, but I don't like the toxic vibes in those communities generally. Um... basically it's humiliating for me, but then with the bi stuff I want to explore my homosexuality with my partner guiding me lol.

I had more to say, but I forgot. The stereotype is I want this because of mommy issues, but I have lots of issues that you've already read about so idk what causes this attraction. I have actually always preferred having an older girlfriend though. I think I'd feel safer in general. I like the idea of being pampered and spoiled too especially because my love language is acts of service.

All that being said you might just be interested in boning my bussy which is fine lol. I'd need to get comfortable with you for a while before I did casual sex as pegging.

I don't like listing requirements. It's not that I have no standards, it's just a matter of chemistry and how your body is put together in its own unique way. I like petite. I like bbw. I like average. I like women who have model bodies, and I like women who have disabled bodies. I love all body types. When it comes to eyes though, I do like a lot of under-eye fat (aegyo sal, or under-eye bags). I like eyes that make me wanna stim and flap my hands in an autistic euphoria.

I hope you have a sweet side like baking me cookies while I play a video game lol.

Um thank you for reading. I'd love to talk more!