So there you are. You're browsing Reddit on your phone. Maybe you are waiting for your train or your ride back home.

You're a fabulous woman. Smart, funny, sexy. But for whatever reason, you just haven't had your pussy properly devoured for a while.

Maybe you are "between relationships" and getting a bit tired of the game on Tinder. Maybe your significant other is getting a bit complacent in the bedroom.

And so, you check out the dirty back alleys of reddit once in a while looking for a cheap thrill. You don't always answer these ads - but it's a fun little fantasy. A man to take care of your needs for once and make you feel like a complete woman.

So, here's the thing. There's really nothing stopping you. Just the unwritten rules in your head.

All I want is to give you what you need. Presumably that includes a meaningful dose of cunnilingus. But let's talk about it a little before hand. Let's figure out what really turns you on and what really gets you off and do that.

 My pants stay on so that nothing distracts me from focusing on you. I believe in the purity of the RAOMD as a purely non-reciprocal arrangement.

 You are probably wondering about me. I am a professional guy. Corporate gig. Fit. Cute, average guy next door looks.  Well groomed. Clean shaved. Frequently showered. With all my teeth and a good head of hair. You could drag me to a wedding and I'd look pretty presentable. I have a magic tongue that could take you to heaven!!

As for you, I hate to have too many preconceptions, but you should have a nice vagina and you would spread your muff out like a flower for me to eat. I don't give a damn about your race or your figure - I truly love women of all shapes, sizes and hues. Just me clean and drug disease free.

Age wise I really feel like you should be somewhere in an "appropriate" range for me. 18 to 45 should work well.  If there are any women older than that on  reddit , I'd love to hear from you hahahaha.

I will happily come to you if you can host, or I can take you to a hotel - whichever seems sexier.

And I will take extra care at every step of our interaction to communicate well and make sure that your orgasmic needs are well taken care of. 

 So that's a hell of a lot of words. If you've gotten this far, your interest must at least be piqued. Drop me a line! I will be waiting.