Ahem, gather round, hobbits and humans alike! Gandalf the Grey at your service, though these days, grey seems a mite too… mundane for the ponderings in my beard. You see, I’ve been contemplating a fellowship of a different sort – a polyamorous pact, some might call it.

Think of it like venturing beyond the familiar Shire borders, into a hidden valley teeming with unexpected beauty (think shared laughter, heartwarming evenings, and perhaps even a little hobbit brood down the line!).

But this wouldn't be a fellowship for the faint of heart. We need a companion under 32, a soul as bright as morning dew and as sturdy as an old oak (think youthful energy, sharp wit, and the strength to face any shadow that might cross our path). A touch of the nurturing spirit wouldn't go amiss either – tending to a wounded heart is no less important than facing a Balrog (think someone who can handle a crying child, a grumpy wizard, and maybe even soothe the occasional orcish tantrum, if the need arises!).

Now, the beauty of this fellowship lies in its flexibility. A triad for a merry adventure, although we would be open to a “V-formation” for a more strategic quest – as long as the second breakfast table is well-stocked and the pipeweed plentiful, all paths lead to Middle-earthly joy and the creation of additional wizards and warriors.

But beware, some paths lead straight to Mount Doom! “Scat play” and “littles” are dark magic beyond even Sauron’s ken. However, a bit of playful exploration? Absolutely! Think witty riddles exchanged under the stars, playful pranks on grumpy goblins, or perhaps a friendly competition on who can identify the most constellations (think shared laughter and lighthearted adventures!).

So, young adventurer, are you tired of the same old Shire routine? Do you crave a love story more epic than a battle with Smaug? Send me a raven, a carrier pigeon, or even a smoke signal – let’s see if there’s a spark that even the One Ring can’t extinguish!

Remember, this isn't just about love – it's about forging a fellowship unlike any other, a bond that can weather any storm, and rewrite the very definition of companionship. May the light of Eärendil guide you, and may your pipeweed never run out!