Yeah, I'm posting again because these get buried in the sea of other posts pretty quickly. I usually get a few replies each time with maybe one or two promising ones but mostly people that need something or don't match up for one reason or another. But I'm an optimist so here I go again.
- Rock star parking! Seriously, this is a big one.
- I give wheelchair rides. I'm quite comfy and walking is overrated.
- People let me cut in lines. I'm not sure why they do but it beats sitting outside in the cold.
- Playing the "Cripple Card" is the best excuse for getting out of shit you don't want to do. Who's going to argue that I don't feel well? This superpower also applies to my 1.
- People give me free shit. Again, I don't quite get their reasoning but you'll be covered under this policy as well. Free shit is good.
- I'm the best comedy fodder ever. Ever been out with a drunk, crippled guy that makes up stories about how he got hurt? No? I highly recommend it.
- I'm like having a built-in lawn chair. Everywhere we go, you'll have a place to sit. Think about it.
- I use a power chair. Do you have any idea how much this thing can carry? Think shopping bags, picnic supplies, survival gear?
- I'm really difficult to kidnap. Think this is just a perk for me? Think again, I can say with 99.99% certainty that you will NEVER have to pay a ransom.
- In the event of a zombie apocalypse or bear attack, I'm easy to outrun. (I can't promise that I won't later eat your brains, but that's the risk you take when dating a pre-zombie.)
Not only am I funny, I'm also not horrible looking, smart, thoughtful, live alone, have a great career, a super-sexy minivan (total panty dropper, I know) AND a second bathroom! What else could anyone ask for?
I'm looking for someone that also has a sense of humor. I tend to gravitate toward sweethearts and I find intelligence to be sexy. I don't have a specific physical type, except I'm definitely attracted to thin or athletic body types. Sorry, "bigger" just isn't my jam. Age is inconsequential to me as Iāve dated both much older and younger than myself. I can handle crazy but not, like, stab me crazy.
I'm open to a lot of things but I'm looking for something more than just platonic friendship, I have friends and I don't want to make out with any of them. If youāre looking for ājust a friendā, I wish you luck but itās not me. And definitely something more than just online. Not necessarily jumping into a relationship right away (I'm open to it) but someone to DATE for a while. I want a connection. My career is here and I donāt see that changing in the near future so anyone interested needs to be open to distance at first. Madison is a great place to live, though. ;) So please be in the same part of the world or at least capable to be.
If you think we might vibe, let's give it a go.
Here's a recent selfie to show I'm not a hideous beast: Imgur (No, I'm not a giant. My seat elevates)
I almost forgot the bonus perk! You can finally laugh at cripple jokes without feeling guilty.
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