Hi,

It seems like every time I go on social media, or a dating app, all I see are people in a "Grindset Mindset", or people that are cosplaying as such.

Everyone wants to play-up their gym routine, and how vegan they are, and drone on about how "active" their lifestyle is.
Everyone has "wanderlust", and an "entrepreneurial spirit"... and so on... and so on...

Frankly, this is just not what I'm looking for, and though I am certain that many of these people are kind, and loving, and great partners... I have found that I can only date someone of that mindset for a short while before they become restless and decide they would be better off with someone else... or they become judgmental and begin trying to nudge me towards, or in some cases aggressively demand that I "get on their level."

But that's enough negativity for the moment.
How about instead of telling you what I am not looking for, how about I tell you about myself, and what I am looking for.

I am not overly ambitious.
I work a maximum of 40 hours per week... and no more.
At some point I decided I don't want kids, so I got a Vasectomy.

I'm extremely chill. Imagine if Jeff Lebowski (The Big Lebowski) was combined with the geekiness of Kevin Flynn from Tron/Tron Legacy The humor of someone like Mitch Hedberg, Andy Richter, or Norm Macdonald.

I enjoy Listening to music (by myself, and with a partner), and would enjoy Record Shopping with you.
Genres include: 80s Synth Pop/New Wave, Surf, Motown, Skate-Punk, Acid Techno, Breakcore/IDM, Indie/Grunge, Oldschool Hip-hop, 70s/80s Electro/Funk, Vaporwave/Synthwave/Mallsoft/Tupperwave

I enjoy Movies, and TV shows (but I prefer to consume them with a friend or partner, so I am backlogged, and would love to date a film/TV-buff so I can get caught up)
Genres include: Disney/Marvel/Pixar/Lucasfilm, Dark Comedy, Action/Thriller, Indie, Sci-Fi (specifically I like Sci-fi that's about Ai/Robots, Time Travel, Dream/Memory Exploration/Exploitation, Dystopian. My Sci-Fi taste is less about Space Aliens/Colonization, less about Anime, less about Horror/Gore/True Crime, less about Wizards and Swords and Sorcery)

In my younger years, I worked in Radio, and have always been Fascinated by Sounds and Voices.
I have an informal interest in Sound Design, Foley-work, Music Production.
I have a small collection of musical instruments and Synthesizers, and I like making noise.
I like going to shows/concerts occasionally.
I like driving around (especially after dark) and listening to music.
Even though I work as an IT person, I still enjoy tinkering with Computers and Technology in my spare-time.
(So that includes hacker/maker projects, Linux, Automation, Ai, Video Editing, Video Games)

I'm of average height (5'10), Average weight (185).
I'm white, with short dark/grey hair. I generally have a reasonable amount of facial hair (which I am not overly attached to).
I generally wear Dark T-shirts, Dickies pants, and a hoody.
My weight fluctuates. When I get to 195, I go Keto, and exercise to get my weight back down, but I'm not a gym rat.

I think to really sum myself up...
I do the bare minimum that's required to maintain my health and my financial situation.
I would probably consider myself an "underachiever".
I am not materialistic, and money and wealth are not a driving force in my motivations.

You might be reading this and thinking "Oh, he's looking for an emotional support, because he's lonely and sad and depressed."
And, while I am lonely, and a bit sad as a result, I am not looking for someone to "fix" me.

I am actually looking to be YOUR emotional support animal.
I don't want to go down a "manosphere" rabbit hole (as that entire space is pretty toxic), but one aspect of the dialogue surrounding a man's place in the modern world that I do resonate with is this...

A man needs to feel useful. Specifically, a man needs to feel like they are providing something for their partner, that they aren't looking to someone else for.

We've already established that I'm not super ambitious nor materialistic.
I'll probably never be able to financially provide for two people, on my single income.
I am not even looking to move-in together, have kids, or get married.

But what I do have a surplus of, is free time, and the potential for love and affection.
(And I know, from experience, that the potential isn't theoretical, I have been in long-term relationships, and I have been in-love before).

So, that's what I am bringing to the table.
My love languages are:
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation

I want someone that I can spend time with. (I would be content with seeing you once week, and I would be thrilled to see you more than that). I enjoy being physically close with my partner. Hand holding in-public, Hugs. Cuddling as often as possible (on the couch, in a bed, on a quilt in Nature, in movie theater seating). I enjoy telling my partner how much I love them, and the things about them that I find endearing whenever those thoughts arise (These thoughts of appreciation do, of course, take time to manifest... but once we have gained each-other's trust and affection, you will be hearing them often, and I enjoy hearing them in-return).

I am not opposed to age gaps (me being older, you being younger) In fact, I would prefer to date someone in their late twenties/early thirties.

Politically , I'm a leftist (I'm not a liberal, because I feel like "The Center" has been pulled so far right at this point, that anyone willing to "Reach Across the aisle" is just wasting their time, and falling for all the bad-faith arguments and scams that the Right is dragging them into).

Black Lives matter.
Gay/Trans Rights are Human Rights.
Healthcare is a human right.
Women deserve autonomy over their bodies.
The workers should control and profit from the means of production.
Religion has no place in politics.

I want to be a shoulder to cry on, a chest to lay on. I want to be your big cuddly Teddy Bear. Maybe I can be your chauffeur if you don't have a car or don't like driving. Maybe you just went through a divorce or a breakup (like I went through a breakup 1.5 years ago) and you just want a kind and physically affectionate guy who is fun to be around, non-aggressive, reliable, emotionally attentive, patient, optimistic and can be the Friend you need when you have had a hard day at work, or school, or just life in general.
I want to alleviate any loneliness you have, and in doing so, alleviate my loneliness in the process.

(If I'm being 100% honest, I have a pattern of attracting people that are fresh from a breakup/divorce. The pattern seems to be that they were with someone that talked down to them, were very jealous and controlling, and restrictive of their personal freedom, and in some cases were physically and emotionally abusive. They are looking for someone that is the polar opposite, and that leads them to me. I treat them with kindness, and respect, and patience, and I give them lots of love and time and affection and freedom, and then once their ego has been built back up... they start reading self-help books, and they get into that "Grindset Mindset" that I mentioned earlier, and they legitimately start to take better care of themselves, and then they either realize that they no longer need a man to validate them, and they dump me... or they decide that they do like having me around, but because they are now on a self-improvement journey, they want their partner to be on the same page. They insist I read the same self-help books, and follow the same rigid self-care methods that appear to be working for them, and I try to get them to realize that the reason I am such a Kind, Patient, Chill person... is because I prioritize rest/leisure above all else... and I do not wish to spend 5 days a week in the Gym, I do not wish to turn my hobbies into side-hustles, I do not wish to obsessively count carbs/calories unless my weight starts to become an issue. Bottom line, Self-care is not a one-size-fits-all prescription, and what works for them, might not be my cup-of-tea. I'm happy to cheer you on, I would even help you achieve your own goals if you asked me to. But I need to have the freedom to be myself, and to take care of myself in the ways that I'm already content with).

In summation, if it isn't obvious by the mountain of text above. I am a loving and affectionate person who has been hurt countless times by partners that I have, essentially, emotionally rehabilitated, and then they get a sense of self-worth that dwarfs mine, and they leave.
I am still hurt from the most recent one. But I am not bitter, and I will not judge you based on the past. It's been long enough that I don't feel like dating someone new counts as a rebound, and even if it did, I am an easily amused and easily contented person... so I'm not looking to repeat the pattern of abandonment my partners have inflicted upon me. I do not view a relationship that has settled into a comfortable routine as a failure, I view that as a success, I view that as something to strive for. I do not get easily bored of people. I have had some of the same friends for 20 years, and
When I find a woman that I'm comfortable with, I hold onto them (gently) for as long as I can.
I just want someone that will value me, as much as I value them.

Thanks for reading all of this.
I hope to hear from you.