Hello there, thanks for reading - I’m Nick. Thoroughly weary of the dating apps so I’m gonna throw this message in a bottle out a couple different places here on Reddit and let the chips fall where they may. It’s gonna be extensive, because I want to give you the best picture of myself and what I’m looking for to avoid wasting anyone’s time. If I were to summarize the energy I want in my next (hopefully last!) relationship using three 90’s songs, I’d use “I Swear” and “All my Life” to satisfy my hopeless romantic side/desire to build, along with “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails because that side needs satisfaction as well.

Full disclosure I am beholden to remaining in Wisconsin; though I am wildly open to moving within the state once a relationship progresses to that point (where I’m at is adequate until then, I won’t be able to beat the rent anywhere!). I work 100% remote so my career doesn’t hinder me in the slightest. I’m not compatible with ENM/poly, but if you are I wish you all the joy of it….not into yucking anyone else’s yum.

Personality-wise I’m easygoing, affectionate, honest, empathetic, hard-working and kind…I default to a playful flirt early on. I prioritize communication and am a great conversationalist; can chat about most things big or small. As a small-circled empty-nester; I often ponder the existential and philosophical, such a crazy time to be alive. (I do NOT think humans as a species were ready for the advent of the internet ha.) Since I just inadvertently mentioned my kids, I have two: 22f and 17m. Totally open to dating other single parents, but I am through having children.

I myself am 44. 6’, 200lbs, good-looking and will provide accurate (SFW!) pics in my initial response. I’ve never dated too far from my age, but am open to gaps in either direction…feel like age being “nothing but a number” has never been a more true statement than it is currently. As it relates to this sub; of late I’ve found the idea of a gap extremely enticing. I think it would be cool to have two dynamically different perspectives within a relationship working towards the same goal. I have the confidence, wisdom and peace that comes with over 40 trips around the sun…big dad energy. (**Relative to the title of this post; my parents had a 30 YEAR age gap haha...don't need one that significant, just sayin' maybe it's what I've been missing hehe.)

Race is another non-issue. Attraction is an obvious necessity, but it comes in myriad forms, I do not have a type. I will say I’m more willing to compromise on looks than I am on personality, we gotta VIBE. I’ve got an upper-limit somewhere in the BBW-sphere, but it’s on a case-by-case basis…people are like snowflakes and I’ve found both significant curves and more petite frames attractive.

Hobbies; in the winter they are vastly-reduced…I tend to hibernate, though I’m always willing to brave the elements for a good meal or cocktail. Great time to hunker down with someone special and catch up on reading (fiction, have a shelf full of King), shows and gaming. I’m a fantastic home cook who misses having someone to cook for. I’ve also never had anyone to cook WITH but have always found the idea to hold tremendous appeal. I’m a foodie so I am always down to try a new cuisine or restaurant, discovered sushi maybe 8 years ago and am hooked. 420 friendly and would enjoy having a copilot on annual trips to the U.P.! ;)

In the summer being on, in or near the water is my happy place…love swimming, fishing, kayaking, tubing rivers, etc. I want to continue to expand the state parks I’ve visited, as well as traveling further. I am currently walking 15 miles a week (2nd week back on the treadmill consistently), am striving to make 25 my baseline week. I miss having a garden and would love to have one again at some point, and always dig farmer’s markets. Live music, zoos, festivals, stand-up comedy, etc…..I’m of the opinion that the “who” matters more than the “what”. I can say I’m not a big thrill-seeker in terms of carnival rides, bungee jumping, ziplining, etc. but nor am I a homebody by any means. .

I’ve been divorced for well over two years, out of a marriage that had been dead for over a decade. In the time since the divorce I’ve worked extensively on myself; I’ve been visiting the same counselor the entire time to great effect…I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve maintained my weight at 60lbs down from my heaviest at the end of the marriage, and this year have the goal of refining my body further.

Part of why I bring up the divorce/marriage timeframe is to highlight that for far too long; my life has lacked sufficient affection, intimacy and sex. They are all things I greatly enjoy and desire, so if you’re more aloof or asexual I would not be a good match. I have experience with kinks and D/s (to the left of the slash), and my ideal partner would be very open (experience not required).

Gonna wind it down here; gotta save SOMETHING to chat about. Brownie points for reading it all; either tell me 2-3 things that are mandatory to you in your next relationship or your favorite musician(s)/genre of music. Thanks for reading, have a good one.