Hi,

I'm just going to come right out and say the thing that we all know to be true.
Dating in the 21st Century is a Mongolian Clusterfuck.
When it comes to online dating, there are two types of male profiles.

1. Tryhard, meticulously filled out essays and a couple of images of varying quality.
2. Profile not filled out at all, accompanied by a shirtless/flexing pic or two. (these are the guys that will send you an unsolicited dick pic, and punch a hole in the wall when they get rejected).
   

There are two types of female profile.
1. Tryhard, meticulously filled out essays and a couple of images of varying quality.
These are most likely single mothers, or Socially awkward, Chronically online shut-ins that ghost you when you suggest an in-person meetup.
2. The low-effort influencer/fake profile. These profiles have Professional Glamour Photos zero txt in the "About me:" and instead just point you to their snapshat/instagrandma. These aren't real people. These are bots, people in a call-center somewhere, b1tchcoin promoters, or in the rare instance that it's a real person... they are either trying to sell you an Onlysp@m subscription, or they actually are some kind of Gym-Rat Beauty influencer... in which case... don't bother responding unless you are an ill-gotten millionaire grifter yourself, because they won't respond unless they see dollar signs.

So, with my Ted-Talk out of the way... here's my dating manifesto.
(This may come off as the rantings of an Autistic weirdo, but I assure you, I am way more chill/laid-back than this template suggests, I am just tired of the stupid games we play, wondering when I should txt, you wondering when/if I'm going to text... yadda yadda yadda).

My ultimate goal is to find a Girlfriend by establishing a series of milestones and etiquette/protocols.
I will describe myself, and roughly what I am looking for, and I will follow that with a blueprint for us to follow.

I am:
5'10, Dark Hair, (trimmed short, parted left), blue eyes, Caucasian, currently bearded (I'm flexible, willing to go clean-shaven if it suits your preferences).
Average Build, my weight fluctuates between 165 and 195lbs (currently around 185).
I'm a "Dark T-shirt, Dickies®, and Sneakers ( Hoody when it's cold)" kinda guy.

In my spare time I enjoy Relaxing, Listening to Music, Record Shopping, Plucking the Bass Guitar, fiddling with Synthesizers, Creating "Risque" A.I. Based Art for Tumblr, watching Youtube/Netflix/Disney documentaries/comedy/news/Politics/Podcasts videos, & napping.

I also like to drive around at night while listening to music... and I would love a passenger for short-to long adventures.
I am definitely not an asexual, but I am also looking for something, more than, a hookup/friend with benefits.
I am also not looking to be the 3rd wheel in anyone's ENM/Poly/Open Relationship.

I am not looking to get married, have kids, or move-in together... but I am looking for a long-term commitment (I am NOT a phuckboi). (sidenote about kids, I can't make babies, I've had a vasectomy. I decided if the Supreme court refuses to protect your bodily autonomy, the least I can do is sterilize myself for our benefit)

My love language is:
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation

Ideally,
You are:
A woman, age 21-39, no kids, single, less than 200lbs, feminine in presentation (eg. medium length hair or longer, light to heavy makeup, possibly some false eyelashes on occasion) with minimal-to no tattoos, and minimal-to no piercings.

Ideally, your personality type would be somewhere between:
Mopey but optimistic, Physically Clingy (but not co-dependent), Free Spirited, Chill, underachiever, easily excited, curious, adventurous, affectionate.

Proposal:
You respond to this, you ask whatever questions you wish to ask, and I answer honestly, and pose my own questions. (This is where everything gets "by the book" methodical. We are setting expectations... no games... no wondering if we've been ghosted, no nonsense. This is for the sake of our sanity).
We make plans to meetup in-person within 6 days of your initial response.
(In fact, you should have a general idea of what days, and times you'll be free for this meetup before you respond).

1st meetup: Coffee shop or "Barcade", or something similar. The goal is to go somewhere that's quiet enough for us to talk without having to raise our voices. I like the idea of going to "The Grid" because there is a bar area, but there's also a back area that's quieter, and we could sit and play a board/card game while we talk. At the end of this date, I will hug you goodbye. Following the 1st in-person, I will txt you when I am home safe, and you will do the same. Then, within 24 hours, I will txt to ask if you want a followup date.

You do not need to humor me. If you aren't interested in continuing from this point, just say "I'm good" and we will go our separate ways.

2nd meetup: This is "The outing" Encounter.
I will be "Picking you up" for this one. If you have any reservations about me knowing where you live, I can pick you up somewhere near your place of residence instead, and from there, I will be our transportation, and you will be my co-pilot. This date will be a collaborative effort. I will have ideas, and you will either have your own suggestions, or I will keep making suggestions until we settle on one. (examples include, picking a movie to go and see, picking a place to eat, going record shopping, wandering around a mall, going to a museum/gallery etc...). This encounter will be a test of our improvisational skills, and our ability to adapt to the situation and make our own fun. Expect this date to take place across multiple locations.
When this date is over, I will return you to the pickup/dropoff location, and you should Expect a kiss on the forehead. (see, I set the expectation, and you don't have to wonder "Is he going to kiss me".) If you seem receptive to that, I may kiss you on the cheek. At this point, if you want a 3rd date, you will kiss me on the lips. (Hopefully my 2 kisses provide you with enough "dopamine courage" to do this). If we do not make it to the 3 kisses milestone, I will presume that you do not want a 3rd date. I will text you when I arrive home safe. You will text me the same. And we will go our separate ways, but if we do reach the milestone, I will txt you within 24 hours to setup the 3rd date.

3rd meetup
Brace yourself, the meeting place for this, is my place (or yours).
From there, we procure provisions together. We get snacks, take-out, visit redbox (& maybe if you're feeling adventurous, we visit Fascinations, or Castle Boutique... or not) then we go back to the meeting place, and we have a nice relaxing evening together indoors. There's cuddling, there's conversation, there's binge-consumption of Movies/Music/TV/Youtube, there's board/card/video games... whatever we agree is the most fun that can be had indoors... we're doing that.
If times are good, and enjoyment is had by all involved... we have sex that night, and cuddle some more afterwards (setting expectations again, you don't have to wonder if I'm going to make a move, because if we have made it this far, and I want additional dates, I am going to make a move). If the sex is decent. You're my girlfriend. It's as simple as that.

Ok, maybe you're thinking "But it isn't as simple as that... what does this girlfriend thing entail?"

I've got guidelines prepared for that too.
1st, we have to pick out a symbolic object that you would be comfortable wearing.
It can be a ring, it can be a wristband/watch, it can be a choker necklace (if you're "gothy" or into BDSM stuff lol)... (what it can't be... is excessive lol)
If you want, we can be egalitarian and pickout an object for me too.

Now, expectations. I'm going to list mine... but before I do, I want you to know that expectations go both ways. So once you have read mine, you should prepare a list for me to look over and agree to.

My (bare minimum) expectations are as follows:
We will communicate at least once, in some way, every day. I will text you a Good Morning, every day. (This lets you know I'm awake, I'm alive, and it let's you know that I have the time for you (eg. I am probably sending this txt after I've arrived at work, and gotten a handle on what I am doing for the day). Following my daily text, the lines of communication are open until one of us sends a goodnight text... or a request to pause. (You must send me at least one txt every day, following my "good morning", so that I also know you're Alive/Awake).

We must see each-other, in-person, at least once a week, (unless otherwise agree'd upon).
(This is, the bare minimum amount of contact that I need, in order to feel secure in a relationship.
If 14 days pass, and we haven't spent any in-person time together, I am going to assume that something is wrong, and we'll have to have a talk about it. I know from past experiences that I have an "anxious attachment" style, and from experience, I know that my anxiety kicks-in between day 11 and day 14 of no-contact. Again... this is my attempt at setting expectations).

As previously stated, my Love language consists of: Quality Time, Physical Touch, & Words of Affirmation.
As such, I am expecting hand holding when we walk around together, cuddling anytime we are next to each-other. I am also expecting sex, at least 3 times a month (do you see what I did? If it's my expectation that we see each-other, in-person, at least once a week... why didn't I set the expectation at 4 times a month? I am making an exception for your "monthly visit from Aunt Flow ".

[Now, Ideally, we would see each-other more than 4 times a month, and have sex more often than 3-4 times a month too, at least that's what I am hoping for. These are bare minimums. Not to toot my own horn, I could easily have sex one or more times a day... and I max out at 9-10 times in a 3-day weekend. All this is to say, don't respond of you're averse to touch, sex-negative, prudish, or asexual].

Beyond those expectations, I expect open and honest communication. Please don't respond if you have an avoidant attachment style.
The last thing that I want, is for my partner to have a problem with something about me, and to bottle it up inside until it reaches a breaking point, and I get neglected, ghosted, or dumped and have no idea why. If something is wrong, please tell me so we can address it before you become overwhelmed with resentment, and decide to peace-out.
Finally, monogamy. I expect Monogamy.
[That means neither of us is holding hands, cuddling, kissing, having sex, going on dates, being naked around other people].
After/During the 3rd date, we can discuss kinks, and fill out a sexual compatibility survey to see where our respective kinks (if any) align.

I think that's it. That's all I can think of, of the top of my head.
Let me know if I've left anything out.
I look forward to hearing from you.

(This is the most tryhard thing I've ever written)