This will be a long, weird post. I do not anticipate getting a ton of responses; so, if this post is still up, I’m still looking for you. I’ll keep reposting until then. This is a 'last-resort', 'oh-crap-emergency' kind of outreach.

Tl;Dr:

I’m looking for a pretty, smart, poly-friendly younger lady I can become romantically-involved/obsessed-with-her, so I can finish the damn novel I’ve been writing for 2 years.

Quick About Me (RE: count the 🚩):

First, I am polyamorous (polygynous, technically). I have a nesting partner; she is non-negotiable. More on her, later.

Physically, I’m a man in my mid-thirties. I’m 71” tall, weigh approximately 200lbs , and my dick is 8” long (uncircumcised). I’m fitter than most men my age, more hirsute than most, with a salt-&-pepper beard and a head I keep clean shaven. I get a lot of “zaddy” comments, even though I’m still not 100% what the fuck that means. I’m attractive and athletic, though by no means am I everyone’s cup of tea.

Personality-wise, people say I’m funny. People say I’m smart (I get called a ‘genius’ a lot—not something I believe), and people say I’m charming (this, I believe). I think of myself as pretty temperamental; I’m prone to fits of melancholy just as often as I am hypomanically-charismatic. I like to conversate ad nauseum. I am ambitious, but very lazy, and have been accused of having an executive functioning disorder. I like to think I’m more playful than serious, and more earnest than superficial. I’m former military and formerly academic, but I don’t have the PTSD to match (I think?).

Hobbies-wise, not many. I go to the gym six days a week, blaring music that makes conversation impossible. I read. I write. I play the odd, occasional video game (obsessively, for days on end). Oh, and I love to cook. You will be served my overly-fussy recreation of a rustic ragù bolognese, and my nearly-custard brioche French toast.

Heart of the Issue:

I need someone who can be my new muse. This is more involved than it sounds.

Basically, I am at the tail end of writing my second book, first novel. It’s a book that I think has social importance beyond my own ego, and something I have been writing (seriously) for the last two years. The whole structure is mapped out; I’m not having a ‘ideas’ problem, or the conventional version of writers’ block. The obstacle is that the closer I get to finishing it, the more drag I seem to catch in actually writing the ending. The problem is a larger one of mood and motivation, and maybe a tad of inspiration.

Historically, when bourgeois men run into a personal, psychological problem, they turn to the uncompensated emotional labor of women to solve it. And, like: who would I be to laugh in the face of generational inequity? Hence, I need a muse.

What I’m looking for:

• Someone I can be obsessed with (or ‘fall in love with’, whichever happens first)
• Single or poly-sapphic woman, 18-24. I want to be at least ten years your senior, and my fragile ego can only handle being the sole romantic male in your life.
• You need to be pretty. I am vain, and shallow.
  • No requirements on particulars; I have a historic weakness for blondes, but my nesting partner is brunette.
• Please be smart. The smarter the better; smarter than me would be optimum.
• I need a talker. This is a hard requirement. When my brain gets tangled up in knots, I need you to untangle it with your words.
  • Yes I *am* still in love with an ex who used to do this for me. So *weird* of you to ask like that.
• I need you to be more on the extroverted/assertive side of the social spectrum. I love introverts but when I get despondent, I need you to bring me back. I'm hard to reach in my own head sometimes; I need someone who is patient and forthright enough to find me out.
• Please be fit. Gym is life.
• I need you to be minimally nurturing by nature. Someone who is available, and tolerant of clinginess if I develop any towards you. Kindness is something I rarely afford myself, I'll need some from you.
• Attitude: I like princesses and tomboys. Sweet brats are the ideal.
• HUGE Bonus points if you are bisexual or bi-curious and *also* want to date my nesting partner, but it’s not a hard requirement (from either of us).
• Be available until I can finish this damn book. Age gap relationships are either fleeting or forever; if we are to be the former, I need to enter into this knowing you'll be my person until I can finish this next round of creative projects. I already had an ex derail my brain this decade; I can't afford for that to happen, again.
  • The main priority is the (mostly manuscript complete) novel. There is also a separate stage play and separate separate screenplay I’d like to start and finish before 2025. If you can be around for all three, fucking huzzah.
  • If you’re interested in acting, and I can finish the other two projects fast enough, I’d happily fight to get you roles in them if/once they enter production.

Geographic notes:

I’m located in California, in the SF Bay Area. I’m open to you being *wherever*, as long as there is a plan/roadmap/clear opportunities for physical contact. I can’t relocate for at least the next three months (professional obligations), but I'd be happy to relocate for the right responder after that.

What I’m offering:

• Multimodal relationship. I’m open to anything from “temporary arrangement where I can lust/love after you and you reciprocate just long enough for me to finish my creative projects” to “conventional girlfriend-to-marriage pipeline”.
  • My nesting partner claims I am, quote, “the best boyfriend in the world and terrific in bed”. She is clearly lying, but there’s that.
• I’m entertaining, kinky, and loyal. I'm often told I'm the most interesting person people have ever met, and I am a decent guest at most cocktail parties when I am not in a sulking fit.
• Depending on the duration, I’ll probably end up immortalizing you in one of the creative projects I am working on. So like, potential ego gains and bragging rights on the table?
• If you’re into/interested in FFM threesomes, my nesting partner and I are looking for a permanent to semi-permanent addition to our lives (Throuple/closed triad, preferred). We've dated women together before, and women just 'exploring'; so, if you're interested in that, don't be shy.
• My complete and utter devotion as I develop a deep and abiding emotional dependency on you, pushing me to create and grow in ways hitherto-now incapable, becoming anything from a) dotting Daddy waiting on his princess b) slavishly loyal knight hopelessly devoted to you, or c) enthralled pet whose world revolves around you.
• Occasional back rubs.

Please DM me if you’re interested. We can exchange selfies and pleasantries, and see if we're a good fit from there (also happy to introduce my partner in DM's; I simply value her privacy more than my own). I know you’re out there—I just need to find you. Hopefully, soon.