"Love no one until you can love yourself, for love of another is merely empty flattery and self-deception for one who cannot accept himself without pretense."

https://preview.redd.it/xh3etbfw19qb1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=af596d34505d30b0b87234479968613461c69cf8

You can hear what I sound like here!

My name is Tim. I am 6'1" and I am 40. I grew up in Louisiana and I have lived in a few different areas of the US. I currently live in Texas, though I am looking forward to possibly moving someplace new sometime in the future. I studied philosophy in school and have spent much of my life both thinking and writing about love. I am looking for a LTR. I am open to a LDR for the right person.

I've got a lot of details below, but if you are looking for a summary then just know that I am a mature, open-minded and sensitive man looking for a younger woman that I can guide and protect. I have seen so many women hurt in so many ways in this world that when it came time for me to choose a new partner I wanted it to be someone that I could try to protect from all of that pain.

You will see that I have chosen to use a list format below. This is because I find it helps me think through things a little easier. It also helps me ensure that I have not missed a detail that I intended to include. I know that listing facts about oneself in this way can take away from mystery of getting to know someone, but I assure you I am a very complex man and no mere list would ever be able to rob someone of the fun of getting to know every aspect of my personality.

Facts About Me:

• My taste is music is always evolving. I grew up listening to Metal, but I love being exposed to new sounds. As a result, my listening habits have really branched out in quite a few different directions. Some consistent favorites of mine are Peter Gabriel, Breaking Benjamin, Linkin Park, Haeven and Silversun Pickups. Ben Howard is the most recent artist that I have started listening to and I have started dipping my toes into K-pop.
• I love Halloween! What makes it interesting to me is all of the lore and mythology it can incorporate.
• My favorite color is purple. I used to think it was blue, but I realized at some point I was sort of indoctrinated into that way of thinking. haha I dug into myself more and realized that I was drawn to purple more than any other color, especially a very deep purple.
• I am an INFJ. My enneagram is a 6. I know this is pseudoscience so it may be easy to dismiss, but I still think it's a worthwhile conversation topic.
• My love languages are words of affirmation and quality time. I think touch could be one as well, but it takes a while for me to build that kind of trust for someone.
• I like experiencing new places. I have not made travel a priority in my life, but I've always enjoyed it when I did it. I hope to be able to do it more.
• I adore being exposed to history and creative expression in any form. I love going to art galleries, museums and performing arts productions. I am constantly trying to work on myself and I find that witnessing a person's history or expression helps me open up avenues I can use to explore myself.
• I am a cat dad. My cat, Aries, is very important to me. He is basically my familiar.
• I like to stay active. Sometimes it can be a challenge because life tends to throw some curve balls that make taking time for the gym seem unimportant, but I try to make it a priority.

My Red Flags:

• I come from an estranged family. :( This is quite upsetting to me because I love the idea of a big family so much, but it just hasn't worked out for me. At this point my parents and one of my sisters have all passed away and I no longer communicate with my two livings sisters. I hope that can change someday.
• I am still friends with my ex-wife. I've been divorced for a few years, but it wasn't an angry type of divorce. We decided we should move on from each other romantically and we broke up amicably. I've had a hard time finding someone who can understand that it's possible to be friends with someone you used to be intimate with. But I assure you, it is possible. Keep in mind that I don't have a family in my life. Because of this, throwing away a connection is not worth it to me unless it is toxic.
• I am messy. I try not to be, but I have a hard time doing certain kinds of tasks because I am always in my head in some way, shape or form. I do get around to doing things eventually. It helps when I am doing it with someone else, so I don't get bored.
• I feel things very strongly. I work on dealing with my emotions every single day. I use lots of coping methods to ensure I don't get overwhelmed. I think this is a side effect of my best qualities, so it cannot really go away. But it is frustrating for me, so I wanted to list it as a red flag.
• I AM NOT HOT! I look kind. I have blue eyes that have wrinkles around them because I have spent so much time smiling in my life. My face is warm. You can tell that I think about things. My beard is multicolored like a calico cat. My body is hairy and pretty burly. I look like some kind of mix between Santa Claus and Baymax from Big Hero 6.

My Positive Traits:

• I am interested. I love to hear about what you love. I like to try the things that you like. I'll drop whatever I am listening to just to hear a song that you think is great. I genuinely want to know anything I can about you.
• I am a critical thinker, but also very caring and tolerant. This enables me to be able to converse about pretty much any topic with someone. In a perfect situation they are also able to be intellectually vulnerable enough to consider other perspectives.
• I am very passionate about both people and animals.
• I have a soft heart.
• Many have said I have a nice voice.
• Being nurturing, supportive and affectionate are my greatest strengths.
• I am kink friendly, but not kink obsessed. This means that while kinky sex is really fun, I am just as comfortable if our relationship is more Vanilla or if changes back and forth over time. In my opinion this makes me much more stable than those that have a preference for one over the other.
• What I love most in life is learning more about people because they teach me more about myself. I try to grow into a better person every day and I believe that being receptive to other people's ideas is a big part of how that happens.

What I am looking for:

• A younger adult woman who is intuitive, communicative, intellectual and witty. I love communicating with someone that has mental agility.
• A gentle empath who is insightful.
• I want a deep emotional connection.
• Someone who is capable of appreciating me. I need someone who is warm, nurturing and emotionally intelligent.
• I want to be loved just as much as I love. I've found that I generally put a lot more time into a relationship than my partner and I am tired of it. I cannot do that anymore.
• It's important that my partner is someone who can give me the benefit of the doubt. This applies to many situations, but I feel like it's important to remember what you know of someone before you jump to a negative conclusion about them.
• Someone who will love my pets.
• Someone who is understanding that I am a bit of a nerd. I like board games, stuffed animals and most things that geeks like. I play online video games with my friends at least once a week.

If this long list resonates with you, please send me a message telling me about yourself. Also, what did you like about my post? And finally, what is your favorite Disney movie and why?