It’s not, I lied, I’m a fraud. You might as well read on though for shits and giggles.
Anyway, you can see my picture here or on my profile, the last time I was someone’s type was when I was donating blood, maybe you’ll change that.
I have a few first date ideas I think would be cool, if we hit it off over long distance, maybe we could do one IRL?
- Both wear sumo suits and go to an indoor trampoline place and battle (to death? Idk depends how the day is going)
- Dress up in polo shirts and beige khakis and tell fake facts at a zoo to customers
- Invade Poland
- Tattoo each other with a big reveal upon completion
Benefits to dating yours truly
- Semi-professional bathroom singer
- Fantastic chef, can cook the best instant ramen
- The only time I’ve been in jail is on Monopoly, although I dispute that dice roll
I can also be VERY flirty 😏
For example, I want to do adult things with you..
whispers Taxes
panting softly Pay the mortgage
moans Make sure we turned off all the lights, our utility bill was fucking $300 this month
Im definitely a caring and protective person. I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
If you wanna have a chat, please say more than ‘hi’ and a picture of yourself will go a long way with me, I’d like to get to know you more and put a face to a name. 😊 Have a good weekend!
Age 29, height is 6’2, British but reside in US now, 💰 stable, monogamous, animal lover and other boring shit idk
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