I see posts all the time on lesbian subs especially lesbian fashion about wanting to dress more queer. The most common reasons are so women know they can approach them or make a move and they don't want to be seen as straight.

As someone who is visibly queer (most people assume I'm a lesbian), I don't have all of these women coming up to me and hitting on me. I'm conventionally attractive. I do well on dating apps. I only go out to gay bars with my gf occasionally, so I can't really speak to that scene.

The only thing it does is slightly cut down on the amount of men hitting on me, but not by much. I rarely get hit on by either in everyday public settings.

In my mind, dressing more queer or like a lesbian is dressing more masculine. It's just stereotype bullshit. I get comments that I'm a lesbian because I have short hair, no make up and dress pretty casual and comfortable. I got this long before I came out even when with men.

It's funny because I've had a number of women tell me they don't usually find women with short hair attractive or I'm the first woman with short hair that they've dated. I've gotten shit about looking like a lesbian most of my life. At this point, I don't give a fuck but I wouldn't dress this way if it wasn't what was natural/comfortable for me. I guess I don't get why someone would want to deal with that shit if they didn't have to.

These women want to look more queer but don't want to look more masculine. How does that work? Is it about validation that they're not like one of those boring straight people? I just want women to be themselves that's attractive.

I think this comes from feminine lesbian and bi women wanting to be hit on by women the same way men hit on them, so they don't have to put in any effort. The solution to me seems pretty obvious, hit on the visibly queer women you are interested in.

If any of you other "visibly queer" woman are getting hit on all the time, please let me know lol. Does this actually work? Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Maybe I need to look even GAYER 😂.