I'm a 40 yr old single parent. Here's some insight. Also it's not your job to fix or change your parents. That's on them. Maybe your parents don't see things the way you do and don't want the same things. It's on them. Don't focus on them. The idea of having a life or being happy is different for people from different cultures, generations and personalities.

I get what you're saying. My mother is like that. I wish she at least had an interest in something so that I don't feel smothered sometimes. I felt that way since I was a teenager. But my mother grew up in a generation where women are supposed to give it all and the family becomes a woman's life. Of course my mother at first didn't know what to do when her kids left. But she figured it out.

I will say that when you have kids, life changes and you cannot live like you're in your 20s without kids. And when you have young children, they take up most of your life. That's the reality. When kids are younger, they need the parent and more dependent. Most of my time is work, children's activities. I spend time volunteering at my kids school activities, PTA and with other parents.

I make time for hobbies and passions such as dancing and gym. However, I have to prioritize. For example I don't have the time to get into competitive dancing yet. Someday down the road. As for the gym, I got membership in a gym with childcare so that the kids can play while I workout after work. I met ladies in one of my classes.

Younger coworkers always ask me to hang out with them last minute but don't understand that I have kids and cannot leave them last minute. I need a heads up and time to get a sitter. When I go out with them, I had a good time but no common lifestyle. I still enjoyed hearing their perspective on life and they loved me because I feel like a big sister. Their words not mine.

I think it's also a generational mindset and personality. The younger generation like millennial (30s and 40s now) think it's important to self-care and have an identity or passion to keep yourself going and avoiding burnout. The older generation has no concept of that and view that as Selfishness or neglecting family. I've seen both extremes.

For example when I'm going to the gym or getting a sitter to occasionally to hang out or dates, my older family members think I'm being selfish. They have the mindset of a sacrificial mother. I've had talks with my family.

I think it's important to self-care otherwise you will burn out. Also when I'm taking my kids to the gym I'm setting an example of discipline and taking care of health. I also want to be healthy as much as possible. When my kids are 18 or 19, I don't want them worried about my health or worry about taking care of me. I want to be healthy as much as possible.

I also enjoy dancing. While taking classes can be challenging, I follow YouTube tutorials and an occasional class. Maybe when the kids are older I have more time.

Extroverts enjoy new experiences and meeting new people. Introverts find it exhausting and pointless. They'd rather spend time with who matters to them rather than small talk with strangers.

Also when you're older, you are more tired. After 35, your body is not the same. And you have seen enough crap that you don't want to waste time. Though I'm an extrovert, I've become much more selective with whom I socialize. I may have become more cliquish. But when I have a lot going on, I don't want to be around people who drain me even for a few minutes.

Hopefully this gives you some perspective.