Hahaha desi aunty here. Dating has changed a lot in the last 20 years. I'm divorced and I just don't get it. But Dating isn't a priority now. Dating as an older person feels different.

If you all know a handsome, tall, intelligent desi man who's progressive, atheist, and has a good job and 40 , I'm all ears.

Yes in my day, I had a hard time dating desi men because I couldn't find a desi man who isn't religious or too conservative. I didn't want to repeat the cycle of mismatch and finding him too controlling/judgmental and going through a break up, and then of course gossip and pressure from other desis. Too much drama. So that's why I avoided desi guys unless I see that he isn't fobbish.

The desis back then only stuck to themselves and complained. Why bother coming to America? I enjoyed exploring new things.

I grew up in a mostly white school and naturally adapted aka whitewashed. I felt the pressure to "represent" my people. I felt caught in between and disconnected.

I find desis today are more open-minded. The kids are definitely more connected to their heritage. Internet for one made the world smaller and America is becoming more open-minded and knowledgeable about foreign cultures. In my day, I used to get frustrated because I felt most Americans lived under a rock. Now not so much. Tech allowing youngsters to connect with their heritage helps cope with navigating between 2 cultures.

What else? Dating among teens and boy-girl relationships are more acceptable among desis. My parents would freak out if a boy even looked my direction. My father panicked when he heard me talking about my crush to my sister at 13. Now to most desi parents it's not scandalous.

The term for it is third-culture kid.