5 years ago as an Over the Road truck driver, I had a FWB that was married and cheating on her husband. We would meet up in random hotel rooms for intense fisting sessions and ruthlessly gaping her slutty asshole with my cock. She would tell me about how she keeps her hubby locked up in chastity while she's out having fun, driving 18 wheeler around and fucking younger guys than her. Unfortunately, she died during COVID-19. On one hand, I'd love to share with her widower all of the different videos and pictures we took together. On the other, I don't want to open an emotional wound for him that I haven't even quite healed from yet. There's arguable ethics behind sharing a gif of a video I made with permission from the woman I've made it with after her untimely passing, but the stress about having such an intimate friendship end without shared closure still leads me to masturbate to our incredibly sexy porn that we've made together. Obviously, there's nothing identifiable about her in this... perhaps my own hand plunging into her bucket cunt is clearly recognized.

Does grieving about previous intimate lovers include masturbation?