Why is it that no one understands? No one accepts it? No one realizes it? That no matter what, I’m told I’m wrong. No matter what, I’m told that it can wait. But to me it can’t. It is something that I have longed for years. It is something that I have watched others experience. It is something I have watched make others happy. It is something that has pulled my closest friends away from me. I was always happy for them though but a piece of me always died and, some may see it as being selfish but I did not, it made me wish that they never had it. I wish that it instead came to me so I could be happy. Yes, I should not rely on it for my own happiness. But I will as I have no other option being alone for this long and longing for it.

Love....

Yes I have also seen it hurt others but I have also been hurt. I have not received it so how can it hurt me? When I have given my all into someone who I think was giving it back. Someone who I thought things were going to happen with. Someone who I was so close with and always around with. But they disappear once they notice how I feel. They leave when they were giving the same back. They left without a trace and I was confused as to why. Until the pain came of seeing them with another how I always expected them to be with me. Cuddled up, on dates, kissing, hugging, being and giving love endlessly. It is something that I have not obtained yet it has always hurt me. I cannot escape this fake love and its pain. Yet once I am able to, I hope I have enough to give my all to the true and real love