Hi,

First time posting here, been coming here for lurking advice for a while, but I want some peoples' insight into something that is crushing my soul.

I know that the inclination here is towards irrational positivity. "keep writing even if you've got one finger and you have to relearn the English language every morning," sorts of positivity. I also know I suffer from intense depression, but I really don't want to boil my issue down to, "you're just depressed, keep writing."

Every time I actually spend time writing something, really knuckle down and do it and actually enjoy it, I approach folks to get feedback and they emphatically agree to give me some... Then it turns out it never ends up happening and they never come back with any feedback at all. The few times I have gotten feedback, it is clear what I write doesn't really connect with the person who read it. Logically, this would mean that people are reading like a paragraph of what you made and then they just drop it because its easier to forget they ever read it and wait for the person who asked to forget too. That way they don't have to say to you that your writing makes them want to bond a tuna-can opener to their own cheek and twist.

It is absolutely soul crushing to think about.

We only have so much time on this earth. Is this is a pretty clear clue that its time to spend it doing something that will lead to fulfillment? I feel like I have interesting stories to tell in my head, when I actually write I enjoy it... But its like going to an amusement park you love, knowing the entire time in the back of your head that once you leave the park the price to pay for your fun is a swift kick to the unmentionables on the way out the door.

Thanks for your time!

Edit - Wow, I did not expect to get that much awesome feedback. Thank you everyone for your down to earth, honest, and very helpful advice. Been trying to write by myself in a vacuum for a long time and apparently that has not done good things for my approach to how the process works.

Sloppy 2nd edit - When I work up some courage to approach randos on here or on the other places people suggest I'll definitely start seeking out my audience rather than trying to assume that "writing quality" is the one and only important variable to how many people read your things.