I can't write because my mind wont hush and my heart is broken in a million pieces.

My morning,

Trev woke up early one morning, rolling over his beautiful girlfriend was still asleep. He was happy, so happy to have found that one that completed him. He lay back and drifted off to sleep. He woke up only 20 minutes later to find the bed empty.

He got up checked on the baby in the next room. She was fast asleep in her crib. He went to the kitchen, perhaps she was making coffee. She wasn’t there. He checked the front room, not their either. The back porch was empty as well. Maybe she went to get Starbucks. He went outside to check if the car was gone. It wasn’t.

Going back inside he considered she might have gone for a walk. He went to check on the baby, but there was no crib. His office was in that room. The baby was gone too. He turned toward the door confused as the world became color once again.

They weren’t real, it was only a dream. The same one again. He collapsed to the floor and cried. He wanted to die at that moment just to make the pain go away. His heart ached; his soul cried.

She had dumped him for her ex a controlling hateful and mean man. She had tossed Trev away. It was because her ex was a threat to her free life. The ex had made it known that she would never be free of him. He threatened to take their child and disappear. Yet, she was so afraid of that happening where she would not risk it even if it meant being a sex slave in a prison for the rest of her life.

Trev felt worthless, the woman had picked prison over him and his love and she called that love. Trev sat on the floor pondering if dying would be better than this endless repeating dream hell.

She and the young child were gone from his life, for a couple months now, but they still haunted and tormented him greatly.

No woman wanted him. They only wanted money, that was all he was good for. There would not be another like her. He wouldn’t feel that warmth in his heart again, it had gone cold and died. The nice guys always finished behind the assholes. ‘Why do women want to be treated like a piece of meat?’, he wondered. ‘Why did they only want money? Is that what relationships are now, sex for money in the guise of dating.’

He couldn’t even find a woman who would just watch a movie with him, let alone be intimate. Women wanted the beach hunk, not the average guy caring guy. He could try to be that womanizing asshole, but he wasn’t able to as the gentleman inside him wouldn’t allow that.

Resigned to a lonely life Trev sat on the floor. Death would end this pain and suffering, but he didn’t move from the floor.