First post to reddit and on mobile (apparently it’s formatted differently that desktop? Idk) sorry if it’s messed up oh and also this might be a long one.

Anyways to start this off started wrestling my Freshman year (junior now) and I wrestled at a pretty low division so Our team wrestled a lot of rural country schools but that had the country boys who were strong af and had been on mats since they could walk. Never got a pin my first season won a few by points but overall I got killed. Transferring schools my sophomore year and moving up to almost the top division (division are based on school size) I was nervous I would get ran over again turns out the year of getting my ass best helped and I was actually good well and of course my school had a rule that transfers couldn’t compete in varsity so going JV head locking kids and having fun was a decent confidence boost and coach saw my potential he put me on varsity after the transfer rule was up. Varsity was what I expected and experienced like my first year so I wasn’t surprised I still preformed well at tournaments (mostly 2nd 3rd place a few 1sts) and decent during duals but I ended up hurting my knee real bad (hard to explain full injury) I was out for the season unfortunately, but during the summer one of my coaches asked me and a few others to join a club so I did until I was advised against because of my knee problems. To combat this issue I ran a 5k almost everyday of the summer along with some weight lifting and other cardio and am now what I would consider pretty good shape for wrestling also went to almost all summer weights, went a wrestling camp, and did almost all preseason workouts. Coming into my junior year I just feel like I’ve lost the sparkle or the talent that I had my sophomore year and I don’t understand why I worked so hard and I was so passionate but I feel as if it just fell off this time. it felt like hard work didn’t pay off. While my cardio is good my wrestling skill just feels off to me I feel like I didn’t improve as much as I NEEDED to to enter my junior year. As a result I feel my passion for wrestling wasting away and while this hasn’t affected my work ethic in the room and on the mat I fear it might. About a month in I don’t feel like showing up to practice I’m starting to feel almost burnt out like I don’t want to do this anymore. I feel like my skill is going down and I’m not sure what to do the season just starting to pick up so this is definitely not the time to get cold feet about this. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I considered quitting but I can’t do that to my coach and parents. I’ll definitely stick out this season but as far as club for the summer and my senior year I’m considering hanging up the shoes. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been with the same guys through this process and all of them have gotten significantly better and the ones that were already state caliber are godly now and I’m the one who just went downhill and I don’t understand why my hard work as seemingly gone to waste. Is it possible I really just lost my passion and it’s time to move on? Any advice on what to do to “regain” my passion? And one last thing. Where did all my hard work really go? Even if I do find a spark in my passion I fear I’m still missing the rewards of my hard work? Maybe it’s a mental thing and my passion is a part of earning my rewards from hard work I’m not sure? Maybe I’m not working as hard as I thought? Any advice or really anything would be helpful thanks everyone :)