After partaking in the imbibement of several illegal substances in his party nuclear ballistic submarine SAN Arihant for a year-long celebration of victory in the Arabian Sea, Daler Mehndi is not feeling so hot.

"Yo, yo... Kebawah Duli Yang Maha Mulia Seri Paduka Baginda Sultan Ism.... whatever.... I'm not feeling so good.

he says via phone call to the aforementioned Nusantaran royal, who has wisely chosen to get off the party bus several months beforehand.

Keep calm bro, you're just getting the jitters again. Have another shot to wash the snot down.

PM Mehndi took the advice. Unsurprisingly, it did not help. He stumbles to the lap of the fifth woman to his right, and throws up.

Hey man, I don't think I'm gonna make it. Throws up again. Let me.... rest.

With the last of his energy, he croaks out:

When Bharat is in peril..... I shall return..... Tell Rabab ... to be stro.................................

• Daler Mehndi is in a drug-induced coma at the bottom of the sea in a nuclear ballistic submarine converted into a party bus.

• He will come back to consciousness if the USA is faced with an imminent threat.

• Rabab Mehndi is the interim leader of the USA, the states have become so autonomous at this point that they don't really care.