I do a 3on 1off PPL split. I often cannot complete the last couple of reps of the last set in an exercise.

Each workout is:
- 12-20 reps per set (10 for stuff like squats/deadlifts).
- progression is a mix of added reps/weight, with 20 reps being the main progression goal.
- 10 sets per major body part.
- 20 total sets per workout.

I find that I start skipping the odd day from soreness or fatigue and start averaging 4.5 workouts per week instead of 5.25 workouts per week I have planned.
After around 5-7 weeks, I’m hitting systemic fatigue. The workouts start to suffer, and I need 4-7 days off.
A light work 2 week de-load just irritates me, so a hard break works better for me.

I’m fine with this, but my two trainer friends say I’m probably going too hard. My wife thinks I’m going too hard (but doesn’t know much about the subject).

So, what do you tell someone who’s hardwired to go hard and hit failure?