I met a woman on Reddit some time ago. We became quick friends and lovers. We were so much alike, but different too; perfect complements of each other. As a schizoaffective and autistic person, that's effing rare! I thought I found the one, but then yesterday she told me she can't do this relationship anymore; her life is too complicated right now and can't give me what I need. So it goes.

I won't lie, I cried. But, I didn't suffer. How is that? Well, in short, I'm a monk and I have a healthy relationship with love itself. I love unconditionally and without attachments. That means that I accept the people I love as they are, and that they are free to be their own person. I don't own the people I love, so loving someone does not change by having them or not. Love may be a feeling, but it is also a verb. To love, you must want someone to live their best life, with or without you. True love is selfless.

I woke up this morning with more energy than I normally have. I feel reborn. Truly, if I had the choice, I would have remained with this woman, but I don't, so instead of resisting it, I accept it, and my attachments to her are released and I don't suffer as a result. Thus, to love properly, you have a duty to escape the rule of your desires. Let go, and drop the hot coal when you feel it burning you.

You do this through spiritual work. You need to feed yourself novel experiences and tame your "self" in order to liberate yourself from the karmic fetters that bind you to being any one way and suffering because the world requires you to be something different. Upon doing so, you will begin to adapt your "self" to the world, and then you are like water; able to conform to any vessel you're placed in. And when you are able to do this, you can love someone to the best of your ability and not suffer at the loss of love.

I say all this because I used to be a slobbering mess when it came to love. I felt unloved all the time, and those times I had love, losing it was always wrenching. I've come a long way on my journey, and I can say from experience that this is a better way to be. Love is the most important thing in the universe; learn to love right to be the most you can be.