Hi everyone, mostly writing this to see if I may get some advice in order to help my mom. Comments or messages welcome, don’t check chats much, but hope to get some words of wisdom as this sub helped when my mom became a widow about two years ago.

About a year and a half ago my step dad passed away and at the start my mom was doing pretty well, or as well as she could. 2020 was full of lots of ups and downs for us but we managed through, however these past few months my mom has been getting hit by depression and possibly anxiety attacks. My mom is in her mid 60s and after my dad passed, she went back to work to keep her mind busy and not be home too much, most recently however she talked about feeling a shortness of breath and this overwhelming feeling of something bad happening, along with waves of sadness and depression.

Too add more, my parents were married for 20 years and this was like the 3rd man my mom had been involved with (to my knowledge). She took care of him in his later years after my dads body started giving way and took care of him in his last days of hospices care. My mom has a shrine set up in their bedroom, which she still sleeps in. After my dad passed, I mentioned that we move in to my house since I was with them to help with my dad and his immobility. She agreed, although I gave her a year to recoup, and gather herself. However I feel, she doesn’t want to move as I see her at times make little progress with wanting to pack or move, but also met with comments about finding ways to donate or get rid of old clothing and junk around the house. Does she feel if she moves, that would be the last connection she had of her past with my dad?

As I mentioned, my mom still works, as it helped with keeping her hands and mind busy. Of course her body isn’t as fast as before, but she still feels obligated to work. I mentioned to her that once she moves in with me, my dads SS is all hers and that work in optional for her. I know at her age, work is a clockwork but is she also afraid to leave?

She’s reached out to one of my aunts and they have gone out and I’m happy she is at least trying to get some happiness in her life. Over the last 1.5 years, she has gone out with co workers and family as well but seems the loss of my dad is still weighting on her. Some have mentioned that she join a church retreat and or community. Would that be of help to her?

I have set up an appointment for her to talk to a therapist this coming week, after finding out her provider can help in the matter. My mom started off strong but it seems that with time her mental health has started to take a hit, which is new to me as I always seen her as a fierce go getter.

I appreciate any advice that anyone may have. You all take care.