I had plans to take him to the Van Gogh Immersive Exhibit and dinner that day so I bought tickets in February to surprise him. He's usually off labor day and it coincides with his birthday. It was supposed to be a surprise. I never told him I got them. He never knew I did. I still have the tickets and no Kevin to take.... I was hoping to have a friend to take with me but I didn't find one. There are no relatives to ask.... Just gona go to work that day and forget. The sad part is I know he would want me to go but everything is just so goddamn pointless without him. And it's worse cuz fucking Google keeps "reminding" me what we were doing this time 1 year ago, 2 years ago, 3 years ago, 4 years ago, 5 goddamn years ago and it stings and I just wana throw my phone or kill myself or both! I only had him for 6 years. I kinda get mad at people who had their longer and have kids with theirs and I'm like stfu you're lucky. You have a fucking place to grieve. Come Holla at me when you have shit literal no damn one and tell me how the fuck to move on. I know it's not their fault. I fucking envy them. They had what I wanted..... Forgive me guys. I'm a fucking mess.