Disenfranchised grief is defined as a loss that is neither publicly supported or acknowledged and remains invalidated by society.

Over the last month-and-a-half, I’ve really been pushing my feelings down inside of me and don’t talk about Bo’s death anymore. I just realized the other day that I’ve become numb to it, that I haven’t been addressing it because I don’t have a support system and it’s easier to just not deal with it and pretend I’m okay than it is to feel the crushing pain of others’ invalidation.

I’ve never felt so lonely in my life; I got tired of getting no support, but instead being made to feel like dirt and justifying our relationship. It’s easy to pay lip service to the sentiment “I don’t care what other people think,” but when it comes to my person… I can’t even explain how deeply it cuts for someone to impose their opinion on our relationship, especially people who claim to care about me.

The one person that would understand me is gone.